More thoughts on psychosexuality

Thought one

Sexuality is primarily psychological, and secondarily biological. I can prove this to my own satisfaction with a single anecdote (and perhaps prove it to most anyone with many anecdotes).

A stripper once told me about a fetish night in which she had participated at a previous job. One of her customers was missing everything below the waist. No pee-pee. How he goes potty without a pee-pee, we serious adult types will perhaps investigate another time. He paid exorbitantly to be trampled by a girl who was, in turn, being flogged by a dominatrix.

This bizarroworld I’m describing is the same one you can see through your window right now, so pay attention. It cannot have been a simple desire to empty his balls that drove this man, as Tom Leykis has described, because he did not have any.

Notably, neither is this need due to the neurochemical effects of testosterone, because without his balls he produces much less. Observably, quadriplegics are some of the most regular semidaily customers at the strip clubs they frequent.

Is this an accident of evolutionary psychology? Perhaps our brains simply have no off switch for sexuality when our singing careers demand that we go castrato. There can be no personally adaptive strategy for this except to enhance the survival and fertility of our relatives, and yet this strategy is not what we observe. Instead, there’s a great deal of weirdness to unravel.

Thought two

One of the best ways to understand how a part of a complex system works is to see what happens when it fails. The human reality is extremely complex, and therefore often ridiculous.

There is no sanitary reason for the pictured man to wash his hands, and yet his choice is revolting. Why do we associate sexual organs so strongly with uncleanness? Leviticus offers no reasons for its many prescriptions. And this seems to be such a strong predisposition that our amygdalas actually cease to produce feelings of disgust in the course of the dirty, dirty act. But as ordinary consciousness returns, we feel a sharp desire to clean up. To take a shower in defiance of congressional torpidity.

This is especially true of rape victims. They have to be begged not to immediately engage in physical cleaning rituals. And in defiance of all logic! Hrmhrmhrm.

Thought three

Cats have curiously complex personalities. At first glance, they seem to share many similarities with human sexual behaviors.

It might seem odd that aggression and sex would be so intimately linked but , then again, they often are. Even the brain centers that control these behaviors are next door neighbors. That pain is involved in the mating process is no big surprise either, since pain stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which in turn facilitates orgasm and ejaculation. The Beatles once sung, “You were told when you were young that pain would lead to pleasure.” Apparently they were right. The entwining of all these behaviors and experiences in the procreative act is normal and natural phenomenon. But neutered cats that mount, bite, and otherwise terrorize other cats in the household should – for humanitarian reasons – have their jets cooled. So, if you see a red-blooded tomcat biting a female in the neck or a queen cat giving her suitor hell, you don’t have to worry or assume the worst. However, if you see a neutered male beating up on an undercat, it’s time to report this behavior to authorities who can do something to help address the problem.

Sexual Aggression in Cats
PetPlace.com

Cats are also extremely variable in affection. Our neutered male kitten is the most affectionate cat I’ve ever heard of. When he is in the mood for petting he will jump on my lap, climb my torso and begin licking my nose. This is not stereotypical cat behavior, especially if the cat was barely saved from malnourishment by the Humane Society. Usually I have to pet him for upwards of an hour before he has his fill.

Our female kitten, by contrast, doesn’t put up with much petting. But when she does, boy howdy, she likes it rough. For a couple of minutes only. Quality over quantity, I guess. She will begin assaulting my hand with her face and plows onward so that I have to almost hold her down. When she escapes she will make an abrupt 180, make her little dinosaur squeak to show her displeasure, and return for another pass. Upon satisfaction, she immediately returns to hunting mode.