To you this could mean eating paleo, managing a traditional marriage, being an introvert, or all of these, or any number of other things. The main problem is that society expects you to live this way, but you live that way. The optimization problem then becomes how you structure your life to minimize the costs of your strange ways and maximize the benefits.
The dietary example is one of the simplest. Maybe you’re allergic to gluten or something else that’s a staple of the common diet. Staples get produced in mass and are cheaper, so you’re pretty much stuck paying more for less common foods or spending the time and up front financial cost of growing your own. It’s a simple version of the general problem with an easy, intuitive solution, if a disappointing one.
But optimization becomes far more difficult very quickly when we increase the number of variables. Maybe you want a traditional marriage in a marriage 2.0 society. Should you learn and practice Game to maximize your relationship skills? Should you move to a marriage 1.0 country? Marry an immigrant? The principles involved are far more difficult to balance.
As far as I’m aware, there is not yet any general solution to this problem because the theory of subjective value prohibits it. (Still, I bet William Sidis had one in his desk drawer.) As I mentioned once long ago, I’ve lost my faith in the subjective value theory except as a means to build a macroeconomic science, which would anyway be invalidated by the apocalypse of post-scarcity.
It is clearly a perversion to pay more than five dollars for a grilled cheese sandwich just because someone has told you it vaguely resembles our lord and savior, so it is folly to live as if value is subjective. Clearly, this is only true because of the fall of man.
The problem is further confounded in our post-scarce world because most of our social apparatus is specifically designed to deceive us and waste our time so that we are continually dependent. Imagine if automation really had reduced the average workweek to twenty hours, or ten. I think we’d be seeing a lot more hydroponic greenhouses in hobbyists’ backyards.