If you’re planning to kidnap and murder someone, you might want to track their movements. But private detectives are expensive, and then you have to have them killed, and you get this ridiculous Russian doll situation. Instead, attach a GPS-enabled smartphone to the bottom of their car and turn on the Helicopter Mom app. But make sure you add it to your family plan, or you’ll be paying something like $100 per month.
Knowledge you can use!