Holy shit

I mentioned a little while ago that I couldn’t think of a way to properly muster the necessary fear to “see” what’s going on with the whole ebola thing. At least, not the sort of immediate fear that counts. Well, today I got buzzed by a giant C-5 on the way to work, maybe one hundred feet above the highway.

Occ kicked nicely into gear and mapped out the whole business for me. Figures that’s what it would take. We humans are remarkably stupid animals. It’s always disappointing to have my limitations pointed out in such a stark way, but you gotta play the hand you’re dealt. Still, I’m cursing myself for letting my gas tank get near empty and failing to prepare properly. All this modern living and moving around and changing jobs has left me soft and stupid. At least I already know I’m a survivor under pressure. I’ve got imagination, a healthy fear response, and brains. Good combo.

Anyway, I’d already heard from the local news that everybody in the twin cities has been freaking out over the unannounced military drills, replete with low-elevation flyovers, silent black helicopters and the like. And of course it took me two weeks or thereabouts to figure out the link between this massive troop movement and the bloody zombie virus. Somebody up top actually considers the zombie virus a highly credible threat. The military drills are probably legit at this point, but the brainiacs have probably figured it’s a good idea to have the troops in the area, just in case.

This certainly puts all the recent highway closures in a new light, doesn’t it? It’s all plausibly deniable too, as they’ve only completely shut down a few of the key highways (like I-35), on top of reducing I-94 to a massive bottleneck in Maple Grove (half an hour North of Minneapolis). It also explains the huge uptick in road construction jobs last month (as in thousands hired), which softened the local headline saying we’d lost a lot of jobs in other sectors. I’m actually impressed by the brilliant workmanship of the whole thing. This provides serious evidence in favor of my maybe-transdimensional superintelligence conspiracy theory.

My shift is starting now, so I’m out of time for this. Yeah, I’m not running yet. This probably isn’t the big one. Metaphorically, we’re all sitting in a room filled with gasoline and someone out there is tossing lit matches. Someone else is stamping them out. Good to know, on both counts. I’ll explain that later, assuming I’m right and the guys stamping out matches will come out on top of this one.


About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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5 Responses to Holy shit

  1. Heaviside says:

    Are zombies proletarians? Can they achieve class consciousness? Failing that, can they at least pay union dues? The answers are, in order: yes, yes, and yes. No wonder the bourgeoisie are afraid of them.

    The zombie stands for a new era of political economy where it will no longer be necessary to pay or even feed your workers. But without wages, how will the zombie workforce create demand for consumer goods? What does a hip young twenty-something zombie living in downtown Minneapolis do with his non-existent paycheque? Clearly the development of the zombie labourer represents the final stage of capitalism where money abolishes itself and a pure command economy is established, and where whoever controls the zombies has the power.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      We may be talking about different things :-). But a look at history suggests this has always been the case, where the bourgeoisie are allowed to flourish only insofar as the controllers will cede some control in exchange for increased general prosperity, and vice versa.

      The answer, naturally, is to breed and edumacate smarter zombies.

      • Aeoli Pera says:

        The general answer, I should say. The particular situation may call for discretion, but the general strategy prefers smart zombies as much as possible, except when other considerations are more immediate.

  2. Pingback: Zombie capital | Aeoli Pera

  3. Pingback: Why confidence works | Aeoli Pera

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