The coffeeplace sleeper

I have a day off and for some reason I woke up really early. That hopefully means lots of low-quality posts!

Let’s kick things off with a throwaway bit of nonsense: what’s up with these fat old guys who go to coffee shops and bookstores, monopolize the comfy chairs, drink giant cups of coffee, and promptly go to sleep for several hours? I’ve asked coffee employees, and they don’t understand the phenomenon either.

Descriptive summary: the coffeeplace sleeper grooms poorly and smells bad, but usually wears expensive middle-class clothing (if physical constraints require a sweatsuit, you will see Nike or UnderArmour labels on it). These are almost always men, although I’ve seen a couple of women who qualify. They are even less healthy than their bulk suggests, if the heavy breathing and appearance of the skin is any indication. They also give me the impression of being mentally challenged, as if some other adult must be coming around later to pick them up.

Their behavior consists of either sleeping or sitting in complete silence, alternatively nodding with the music and looking around (seemingly annoyed) at the people and decor. Their chief motivation seems to be the same as that which a male stripper once described to me: “Just to be a local character that people know and recognize.”

About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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