A 27-year-old New York artist has invented something called “invisible art” and she is making millions selling it to people who absolutely must have it.
The most amusing aspect of the story is the image of snobby art collectors walking through an empty studio studiously staring at blank walls with track lighting properly illuminating the nothingness on display. Some of the art afficianados actually stop and soak in the lack of art that is not hanging on the blank wall and tilt their heads in a deeply thoughtful way as if to project their profound understanding of the message sent by the brilliant young artist and her stunning ability to not create anything.
This story was not, we repeat, not published in The Onion.
Artist Makes Millions Selling Invisible Art
Remind you of anything? Makes a guy wonder if this is actually a historical story, sold as a parable.
So off went the Emperor in procession under his splendid canopy. Everyone in the streets and the windows said, “Oh, how fine are the Emperor’s new clothes! Don’t they fit him to perfection? And see his long train!” Nobody would confess that he couldn’t see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. No costume the Emperor had worn before was ever such a complete success.
“But he hasn’t got anything on,” a little child said.
“Did you ever hear such innocent prattle?” said its father. And one person whispered to another what the child had said, “He hasn’t anything on. A child says he hasn’t anything on.”
“But he hasn’t got anything on!” the whole town cried out at last.
The Emperor shivered, for he suspected they were right. But he thought, “This procession has got to go on.” So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn’t there at all.
But then, there’s a singular element that convinces me this parable didn’t actually happen. If this had been real life, the crowd would have gone into an outraged frenzy and torn the child apart with their bare hands, maybe stopping for a moment to gang-rape the child and smear him with their feces first.
I’ll be the last to suggest there’s anything inherently noble in victimhood (re: check out my new card game, Intersectionality), but there’s something awfully consistent in history. Anytime the good guys make a stand somewhere, for any reason, they are systematically rounded up and exterminated by ruthless leaders commanding masses of fools. Often in painful and horrible ways, I might add.