Now that I’ve laid some groundwork in the previous post, I can put this conversation up without writing a billion stupid words first.
Speaking of, I figured out why people feel the way they do around introverts.
Well, it’s because they’re empty inside. They would go actually, literally insane in solitary confinement.
I figured this out from a Stephen King quote in “Cujo”.
There’s another bit too. They think people who are introverted must be shy and low-value, because otherwise why wouldn’t they enjoy parties?
Add insanity to that and you’ve got Elliot Roger 10 times out of 10.
But like I said, when they encounter someone who actually seems to enjoy solitary, against everything the extravert understands, all they can think is “this person *enjoys* that howling wind”.
i think it’s more the latter. or at least, most would use the latter explnation as their main apradigm
And probably there’s a bit of envy too, at the idea that a person might not be so horribly insecure from the fear of being cut off from humanity and their own sense of worth.
and so they interpret a perference for solitude as either a weakness or as condescenion (why don;t they want to hang out with us? they must think they’re better than us!)
But the first instinct is always the pity reaction.
Well, the latter (condescension) is for real: introversion means to prefer one’s own company because one’s company is, tautologically, preferable.
So Extravert E invites Introvert I to a party, I says no. E says “Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” because pity and Golden Rule.
I insists no. This means either Great Pity and Great Danger or Strange Person, depending on whether E thinks I really means it.
If Strange Person, then projection jumps into the picture.
Projection is just theory of mind that happens to make incorrect predictions. If the predictions were correct, it would be “empathy” instead.
And because I chose the howling wind of an empty soul over E’s company, this means I hates E, or I likes the howling wind, or some combination of both.
since E’s invitation often has a subtext of “i like you and these other people like you/will like you” a blunt rejection has the connotation of “but I don’t like you and/or I don’t like these other people”
offense is felt on some level
Okay, add that to the flowchart.
tact and diplomacy often assuage these slights (say it the right way with the right tone and no ofense is taken), but the need for such subtelties is often lost on the internally-focused individual. hence, accidental offense is given
Don’t get me wrong, neanderthals are also social creatures, but there’s a point at which you realize normal people aren’t capable of filling that need.
Plus, there are so many personal projects that need work done.
So part of it is that socializing is something you do maybe 1 hour per day max.
Except we tend to be starved for intimacy, in which case we megadose.
or otherwise go overbaord and become crazy social looking for that kind of intimacy
But on a regular basis, 1 hour’s intimacy per day would almost be too much.
Well yeah, a lot of thal chicks do seem to go overboard that way.
Probably they’re in the neanderthal social group per Rdos.
Whereas the 1-hour max techie folks are probably hunter-workers.
believable. preference for minimal social communication save for comrades in arms focusing on same mission
Yeah, talking shop is different.
And a lot of fun.
Ya know, so long as the work is getting done.
If it’s not, then it’s a drag and it seems like the other person is maybe trying to annoy on purpose.
Even though they’re probably seeking intimacy they just aren’t getting enough of somewhere else.