Convo about shallow extraverts

Now that I’ve laid some groundwork in the previous post, I can put this conversation up without writing a billion stupid words first.

Aeoli Pera
Speaking of, I figured out why people feel the way they do around introverts.

Donovan Greene
go on

Aeoli Pera
Well, it’s because they’re empty inside. They would go actually, literally insane in solitary confinement.
I figured this out from a Stephen King quote in “Cujo”.
There’s another bit too. They think people who are introverted must be shy and low-value, because otherwise why wouldn’t they enjoy parties?
Add insanity to that and you’ve got Elliot Roger 10 times out of 10.
But like I said, when they encounter someone who actually seems to enjoy solitary, against everything the extravert understands, all they can think is “this person *enjoys* that howling wind”.

Donovan Greene
i think it’s more the latter. or at least, most would use the latter explnation as their main apradigm

Aeoli Pera
And probably there’s a bit of envy too, at the idea that a person might not be so horribly insecure from the fear of being cut off from humanity and their own sense of worth.

Donovan Greene
and so they interpret a perference for solitude as either a weakness or as condescenion (why don;t they want to hang out with us? they must think they’re better than us!)

Aeoli Pera
But the first instinct is always the pity reaction.
Well, the latter (condescension) is for real: introversion means to prefer one’s own company because one’s company is, tautologically, preferable.
So Extravert E invites Introvert I to a party, I says no. E says “Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” because pity and Golden Rule.
I insists no. This means either Great Pity and Great Danger or Strange Person, depending on whether E thinks I really means it.
If Strange Person, then projection jumps into the picture.
Projection is just theory of mind that happens to make incorrect predictions. If the predictions were correct, it would be “empathy” instead.
And because I chose the howling wind of an empty soul over E’s company, this means I hates E, or I likes the howling wind, or some combination of both.
Coffee again.

Donovan Greene
since E’s invitation often has a subtext of “i like you and these other people like you/will like you” a blunt rejection has the connotation of “but I don’t like you and/or I don’t like these other people”
offense is felt on some level

Aeoli Pera
Okay, add that to the flowchart.

Donovan Greene
tact and diplomacy often assuage these slights (say it the right way with the right tone and no ofense is taken), but the need for such subtelties is often lost on the internally-focused individual. hence, accidental offense is given

Aeoli Pera
Don’t get me wrong, neanderthals are also social creatures, but there’s a point at which you realize normal people aren’t capable of filling that need.
Plus, there are so many personal projects that need work done.
So part of it is that socializing is something you do maybe 1 hour per day max.
Except we tend to be starved for intimacy, in which case we megadose.

Donovan Greene
or otherwise go overbaord and become crazy social looking for that kind of intimacy

Aeoli Pera
But on a regular basis, 1 hour’s intimacy per day would almost be too much.
Well yeah, a lot of thal chicks do seem to go overboard that way.
Probably they’re in the neanderthal social group per Rdos.
Whereas the 1-hour max techie folks are probably hunter-workers.

Donovan Greene
believable. preference for minimal social communication save for comrades in arms focusing on same mission

Aeoli Pera
Yeah, talking shop is different.
And a lot of fun.
Ya know, so long as the work is getting done.
If it’s not, then it’s a drag and it seems like the other person is maybe trying to annoy on purpose.
Even though they’re probably seeking intimacy they just aren’t getting enough of somewhere else.

About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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9 Responses to Convo about shallow extraverts

  1. Heaviside says:

    I just like to rant at people.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      A noble profession. May I suggest using many swearz and lots of toilet humor between big, erudite-sounding words? That’s the sort of thing I enjoy, personally.

  2. Russell says:

    This. I was going to quote just a piece, but the whole thing is spot on.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      Thank you for saying so. It is easy to get caught up in a mechanistic world of my own creation like the astrology nerds, but I would prefer to avoid that.

  3. Nottuh says:

    Unfortunately, shallow extraverts are all too common these days.

    I’m grateful that I have semi-introverted friends that I can actually talk to about ideas and topics of substance.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      Well, you pretty much have to be an introvert to talk about anything interesting due to PC.

      • Nottuh says:

        My friends are more constrained than me due to PC, but not wholly so. I certainly wouldn’t talk to them about Edenic Phrenology, or even HBD-related topics in general, because they would be offended by it, and even if they weren’t, they probably wouldn’t be interested.

        I can, however talk to them about politics and philosophy, and I’m free to engage in ridiculing uber-PC identity politics with them. That in itself is plenty to be grateful for. :)

        • Aeoli Pera says:

          Yup, following from that I’d classify people into 3 ranges for conversation:

          1) Low interest: you have to be guarded and watch every little thing you say. Telling jokes can get you out-grouped unless they are repeats of previous approved jokes. Conversation is taxing.

          2) Medium interest: you can make jokes about the status quo, but you can’t question it in a serious manner. These folks like to be comfortable and inert more than they like to be correct or happy. Conversation is easy, but not fulfilling.

          3) High interest: they might be insane or constantly wrong or unreasonably antagonistic (*cough* Memoire *cough*), but at least they’re interesting. A decent fight is a lot more fulfilling than a mediocre conversation.

  4. Aeoli Pera says:

    Hence the three-second rule. And I’m thinking of revising that down to half that for family members. Plus at least three repetitions. So…

    Don’t say anything to family members that takes longer than a second and a half, and that you can’t reasonably expect to repeat at least three times. Nothing will penetrate which doesn’t meet these requirements.

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