Aeoli diet v14.04.4 (Obsolete Octoroon)

Now with more contingencies. Oh boy!

You might be wondering what happened to versions 2 through 13. The answer is that we at Aeoli Pera have adopted the Ubuntu style of version numbering in order to make our target market, idiots, feel safe and well-maintained. It’s also a concise way of letting investors know that we don’t employ any of those weird, hairy software developers anymore because they smell gross and we hate them.

One big problem with diet 1.0 (meat > veggies > dairy > fruit) was that I started a medium-labor job for 50-60 hours per week. Figure roughly the same intensity as traditional farm work. This was burning a lot of calories, and I had recently bulked up from 190 lbs to 205 (the workouts have tapered off and I’m back under 200). Calories from fat (meat and dairy) simply do not cut it in this situation, as I quickly learned. If you are going to live agro, you have to eat agro, and that means carbohydrates.

My previous experience suggests that it’s always good to eat lots of protein (lifting regimen or no), but you can’t get the bulk of your calories from fats and carbs at the same time. It’s one or the other, or you get issues.

So if you have a sedentary job and enjoy thinky-thinking with that supercomputer otherwise gathering dust inside your skull, eat protein and fat (and lots of extra fiber to process the fat). This roughly corresponds to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle with brief spurts of intense activity followed by naptime and daydreaming about the next hunt. Hunter-gathering is a high-risk, high-reward strategy because calories are conserved between unscheduled feasts. Aeoli diet v1.0 works just fine for this.

If you have a non-sedentary job, which corresponds to agricultural life or herbivore life, then you spend a lot of effort each day (spending lots of calories) for a predictable return of just-barely-enough calories to get through the day. For this, you should eat protein and carbohydrates, or simply carbohydrates at a minimum (though subtracting protein will make you physically weak and mentally anxious). The traditional advice for bodybuilders actually works better here: prefer lean meats (like chicken), low glycemic index carbs, and veggies.

Nobody, ‘specially thals, should eat high gylcemic index carbs because diebeetus, but it can be forgiven in Aeoli diet v1.0 if you need the extra calories for consistent, high-intensity exercise with long recovery periods. That’s a fancy way of saying “lifting or, like, maybe gymnastics”. I’ve been known to put away a lot of ice cream when I’m trying to bulk up.

If you are wondering which diet you should go with, ask yourself “Do my feet hurt right now?” If not, congratulations! Physical labor is for chumps and stupids. (Like most TTs, I happen to enjoy it because I’m at least two of those. John Adams had the opposite reaction because MTs have contempt for physical labor. Great antidote for anxiety and insomnia though.) Go celebrate your superiority by trying to eat a meat log in one sitting, then fast for a day.

If your feet hurt, you probably have a real job with a foreman (or equivalent) shitting in your mouth all day because no one except a sadist would actually take that job for a $0.30 pay raise. Rethink your life as you eat a Lean Cuisine in the car on the way to your second job.

Moving to the layered leveling approach of which I am so fond:

Bio level 0: Baseline survival rations. You can survive, cheap, for a fairly long time on rice, beans, multivitamins, and metamucil (added for cheap, store-able fiber). But you are going to experience a lot of mental problems, and you might get sick.
Bio level 1: Agriculture. Add lots of vegetables and cheap, opportunistic forms of protein: eggs, chicken, mystery meat you found.
Bio level 2: Hunter. Switch from agro diet to Aeoli diet to get past that investment hump from bio 2 to bio 3. Red meat (beef, venison) and root veggies primarily, with some fruit.
Bio level 3: Hunter/herder. Add a heaping helping of dairy for necessary calories and increase vegetables.
Bio level 4: Olympian athletic demigod. You have reached critical mass and only the Michael Phelps diet can sustain your energy requirements, else your stomach will collapse into a black hole and doom us all.

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3 Responses to Aeoli diet v14.04.4 (Obsolete Octoroon)

  1. Koanic says:

    You TTs are funny fuckers.

  2. Pingback: Wind sprints | Aeoli Pera

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