I am not well; Polymath is an okay guy

How do I start apologizing for how I’ve been acting?

Yeah, I know the edgelords out there have been getting a real kick out of it. Show’s over. Looking back, it’s clear I haven’t been quite healthy. Who threatens to murder people over the internet over copyright? Maybe I should relocate the blog to Tumblr until I grow up a little.

And even if I could come up with all kinds of psychological jibber jabber to explain away what I did (and we all know I surely could), it doesn’t change the fact that I was fully in control of myself and rational. The fact is that I thought it would be a good idea to lash out to make myself feel better. Yeah, it’s all about me, and nevermind the people I’m trying to hurt (sure, it’s just words on the internet, which responsibility I am clearly not qualified to handle).

I should know better. I may not be the best or brightest Christian of all time, Lord knows, but this shit is not complicated. Nothing matters in life except sin and forgiveness. Jesus didn’t preach about good sense and pragmatism and how everybody should go to church on Sunday, he preached hellfire and damnation.

Sometimes it’s not about psychology or healthy or unhealthy. I just got angry and then gave myself permission to get out of hand. This is not a new or mysterious phenomenon in need of a 10,000-word diagnosis. The hooting monkey shit didn’t start yesterday.

None of that is an apology. Yeah, I also know you aren’t supposed to apologize anymore because whatever. Bite me. How do I go in front of the judgment seat with all this on my heart?


I have been acting like a child. You will have to take my word for it that I’ve repented and I’m taking steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again if there is anything that can be done to avoid it. You were very patient and your magnanimity was inspiring when I mischaracterized your run-in with Stoddard. You’re right, I don’t know what happened, and it’s not my business anyway.

I will be adding some commentary to the original post in case anybody sees that without seeing this. You can suggest any kind of restitution that you think makes sense and if it is in my power to do it, I will.

I humbly ask that you forgive me. I would not expect you or anyone else to forget. That would be foolish.

If there’s anybody else who needs an apology you will have to pipe up because I don’t remember lashing out at anyone else particularly.


About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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6 Responses to I am not well; Polymath is an okay guy

  1. No matter how silly I thought some of your ideas were, I always maintained a certain respect for you and assumed you were above such rude and petty behavior. Reading your comments toward me was shocking. Now that you’ve admitted that you really were not in a sound state, I can hopefully go back to believing that. Thank you for posting this.

    When Koanic first announced the wiki, he asked me to help construct it and I fully intended to do so. I’m not sure why you would assume that nobody is going to help you, or that other people are going to harm your efforts. Since I plan to be a wiki contributor, I think I am entitled to comment on your proposed wiki philosophy and voice my concerns. Naturally, I was not pleased to read something to the effect of “Well, obviously I’m going to be the only one doing this, and everyone else is going to hamper my efforts, so I’m going to make up my own philosophy that only super geniuses can understand”.

    In my more recent comments, I think I adequately addressed your claim that I misunderstood the reasoning behind your “theorems”. My basic objection is that history doesn’t work like math. We don’t have axioms in history, we just have things that either did or did not happen. The idea of conditional statements (b follows from a, IF such and such that we have no proof of happens to be true) is meaningless and would be misleading to the readers. You will have to let me know if this is still not an adequate response or if I am still misunderstanding your logic.

  2. So, to summarize: I accept your apology, but I still disagree with you and am somewhat frustrated by the way you have approached the creation of the wiki. I accept that there is a possibility that I am missing something and that I would agree with you if I fully understood your logic, and I am willing to listen to any further explanations you may have.

  3. Koanic says:

    Yeah, I thought you might’ve been going a bit overboard, but I also enjoyed seeing you cut loose. Be ye hot or cold, but if you are lukewarm I will spit you out of my mouth.

  4. Russell says:

    “Yeah, I also know you aren’t supposed to apologize anymore because whatever.”

    No, don’t apologize to those that would take your words and twisted them in attempt to destroy you for something you didn’t do. It’s different.

    Trial and error.

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