Communication style differences between aspies and neurotypicals

I will preface this by saying that all neanderthal-influenced people (whites and Asians) express a bit of both. These are ideal archetypes.

Communication between two or more neurotypicals is characterized by two objectives, 1) the overall production of goodfeelz and 2) establishing social rankings for the pyramidal distribution of goodfeelz. The former is why badthink is frowned upon unless it is expressed through acceptable forms of humor: one is perceived as squandering the commonweal. The latter produces hyperfocus on nonverbal cues to determine what the other members of the group are feeling and how strongly, and this is particularly true of submissives who are more likely to be rewarded or punished for behavior by dominants. I figured this out from listening to a lot of the ATF Show at work, because it’s the usual thing in slow motion. I recommend it for aspies who want to study non-cucked NT social skills. Nate is constantly shaping Viidad’s opinions with his approval and disapproval, but he only has access to audio to do this so the emotional bandwidth is low. Dominant conditioning of submissives is typically amplified by body language because this is the primary information source for mirror neurons.

Conversation between two aspies is characterized by long attention spans and density of information content. An aspie will often stop talking mid-lecture simply because he feels he isn’t communicating enough information per second, and it’s not uncommon for us to apologize for communicating slowly or poorly. I believe this is due to hard-coded instincts to rank ourselves socially according to eugenic traits like intelligence and facial symmetry, rather than socially dominant traits like confidence and aggression. Tony Attwood says the worst thing you can call someone with Asperger’s is “stupid”. This would be analogous to calling a neurotypical person a “creep”, i.e. a person of very low sociosexual rank who ought not to breed. (Perhaps due to my Christian beliefs and unusual perspective on intelligence, I have the eugenic instincts but not the secular humanism.)

As a notable example of these distinctions: when neurotypicals move to a new home, they quickly absorb the regional accent but not the verbal language. When aspies move to a new home, they pick up the technical vocab and slang very quickly but not the accent.

A piece of advice that gets floated by a lot of job coaches for aspies is to get work requests in writing if possible, because we need very clear instructions. This works in practice and follows from the belief that being overly literal and lacking imagination are symptoms of Asperger’s. This theory is untrue- aspies are far superior at lateral thinking- and I have a different explanation for why written instructions work. (That is, when you can get them- most of the time NTs will simply express disgust and contempt at the request and are unlikely to put in the short-term effort for the long-term payoff.) Neurotypical conversation, entertainment, and hobbies are so devoid of semantic content that it’s a miracle they know anything at all. And yet, they have a remarkable ability to absorb common sense knowledge despite the de facto prohibition on speaking it aloud (which apparently demonstrates weakness to them- definition is capitulation for normies, but not for aspies).

I believe NTs do their thinking in the same holistic “guess and check” intuition that I rely on- observation and induction- where the “guess” portion is produced by theory of mind calculations (“how would I interview job candidates?”) and the “check” portion is supplied by the opinions of socially dominant individuals (“the interviewer didn’t like that answer”). This produces in-group consensus of opinion without actually exchanging any information. Thus, a lot of neurotypicals are extremely lazy in communication. They simply expect you to guess the right answer, and they figure they’ll smooth out the kinks over time with social cues. When they have to communicate job requirements to aspies, this works exactly as well as you’d think. Getting job requirements in writing forces them to communicate the semantic information properly, rather than relying on your ability to read their minds.

Example:

NT: (Angry) You aren’t doing your job.
Aspie: (Confused) You haven’t told me what my job is.
NT: (Contempt) You’re stupid.
Aspie: (Upset) What? That doesn’t make sense!
NT: (Better) Good, we’re getting somewhere. If you weren’t stupid you’d already know.
Aspie: (Sad) Fine, I guess I’m stupid then. Please tell me what my job is.
NT: (Disgust) There’s no hope for you. Leaves to complain to another NT and decide whether to fire Aspie.
Aspie: (Neurotic) I still don’t know what my job is!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation in various forms. I’d estimate that I’ve lost four jobs for this reason alone. It’s more of a problem in disorganized businesses (either because they’re smaller or because they’re poorly managed or both), in low-functioning industries (like when I worked at the strip club), and in industries that are more strongly dominated by neurotypicals (law vs. IT).

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About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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10 Responses to Communication style differences between aspies and neurotypicals

  1. Mycroft Jones says:

    Good insight, I think I’ve lost most of my jobs this way too.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      Thank you, hopefully the insight makes up for the shitty writing. It surprises me that you’d have an aspie communication style, doesn’t that contradict the TM theory?

      • Mycroft Jones says:

        We already know an aspie MM… Maybe the M front is why I skate by acting like an aspie without actually triggering the usual aspie alarm bells.

        • Aeoli Pera says:

          The M-front is supposed to mean that your mirror neurons are functional in the modern context. Your T-back will cause trouble because you can’t sustain dominant attitudes, and have a biological altruism drive that can’t be suppressed for very long (i.e. creative impulse).

  2. podrag says:

    Coping strategies:

    1) Be mindful. Many of the problems encountered happen due to a downward spiral of fear and mistrust. So don’t allow yourself to be locked into the fear/domination spiral. Train your mind to remain in the present moment.
    2) Smile and be happy and friendly. Any attempt to undermine you will wash off your back. People like good feelings!
    3) If in doubt, over-communicate.
    4) Communicate thoughtfully. This goes back to number 1, but a few rules of thumb can go a long way, namely: a) don’t frame any question in terms of what wasn’t done that should have been done by someone else. You’re the Thal, so you’re expected to do it dummy, no matter how ridiculous it is. Same goes for suggesting improvements to anything, no one probably cares unless it’s a micro-business. Sorry. b) Don’t ask any questions more than once or maybe twice. Treat it as a one shot thing that you will only get a one sentence answer to. Make it count. c) frame things in such a way as it means less social pressure on the person you’re talking to. Tactically work out what each person’s social drivers are and weave a path. Your NT boss is still being bitched at from all sides, it’s not like being NT makes life go away. Dealing with aspies often means increased social pressure basically because it’s like speaking with retards to them.

    Not that I’m great, just sharing some things that have worked for me in the past.

    • Heaviside says:

      My thoughts on coping:

      Communication implies a community, and a community implies well defined social roles.

      Do you really want to be in the same community as most people? Do you want to have anything in common with them? If you say “no,” then the only thing left is to reject your commonality with them and with it the prospect of real communication.

      Any label like “stupid” or “creep” is a universal. It is not individual and it is opposed to individual freedom. People only accept labels because they would rather be part of the community of low status people than not be part of the human community at all. What has to be found out and articulated is the way to cultivate the feeling of being totally beyond and above all other people — how to be a totally unique and unprecedented phenomenon.

      Communication is communism. It is a bolshevik notion which is meant to drag us all down to the level of “equals” who discourse with each other face-to-face. But what is absolutely unique and individual cannot be communicated to others.

      If you can figure out how to cultivate the feeling of being totally beyond all other people, then you can lie without hesitation, because the notion of truthful communication will have no meaning for you.

      I think this would be the most efficient method of dealing with NTs, but the consciousness of one’s own uniqueness is elusive.

      I guess the way to do it is to immediately put a distance between yourself and any statements you hear, especially about yourself. You have to not automatically and immediately accept statements as true, meaningful, or even capable of being true. You have to resist the very powerful unconscious impulse to take things as givens.

      • Jdc says:

        You’re right particularly when people accuse you of being either mentally ill or incompetent in either a work place scenario or social scene.

        High altruism, honesty and conscientiousness are only pathological traits in a pathological society. We owe nothing to the West, a culture that is practically engineered to exterminate us.

  3. podrag says:

    From the great cosmic mirror
    Without beginning and without end,
    Human society became manifest.
    At that time liberation and confusion arose.
    When fear and doubt occurred
    Towards the confidence which is primordially free, Countless multitudes of cowards arose.
    When the confidence which is primordially free Was followed and delighted in,
    Countless multitudes of warriors arose.
    Those countless multitudes of cowards
    Hid themselves in caves and jungles.
    They killed their brothers and sisters and ate their flesh, They followed the example of beasts,
    They provoked terror in each other;
    Thus they took their own lives.
    They kindled a great fire of hatred,
    They constantly roiled the river of lust,
    They wallowed in the mud of laziness:
    The age of famine and plague arose.
    Of those who were dedicated to the primordial confidence,
    The many hosts of warriors,
    Some went to highland mountains
    And erected beautiful castles of crystal.
    Some went to the lands of beautiful lakes and islands
    And erected lovely palaces.
    Some went to the pleasant plains
    And sowed fields of barley, rice and wheat.
    They were always without quarrel,
    Ever loving and very generous.
    Without encouragement, through their self-existing inscrutability, They were always devoted to the Imperial Rigden.

    -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

  4. ThalMelon says:

    Excellent work, Aeoli. It really is about feels for normies.

  5. ThalMelon says:

    Also, I’ve probably lost at least 5 jobs, thanks to nuerotypical communication style. The jobs I lost were all at low functioning places, too. They just expected me to get what I was supposed to do without proper instructions or training. I’m not a fucking mind reader.

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