The transition into the new job is going well so far. It helps to have the systems I’ve built for thinking about such things. Particularly, I’ve made excellent use of free energy from transitions. I’ll possibly get around to describing this pedestrian stuff in more detail later. However, a weird thing happened that feels more important.

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. That is probably important in terms of emotional timing. My dreams last night were about traveling, which is almost always an indicator of letting go of something, emotionally. This morning, I woke up thinking about Aeris from Final Fantasy 7. The music associated with the scene where Aeris is buried was stuck in my head (along with a couple of other important Aeris scenes and associated music) and the feeling was a mix of nostalgic, bittersweet, and lighthearted. It was like I was letting go of something I hadn’t even realized was bothering me.

Now, it’s important to note that before now, I never understood the fascination with this character. Maybe it’s because I was 12 at the time and puberty was a ways off yet, but I felt no attachment to Aeris whatsoever. She wasn’t very strong and I never put her in my party, so when she died I wasn’t really upset. I mean, the permadeath of a playable character is always a little jarring for a 12-year-old, but I was more just pissed that Cloud buried her before I could unequip her Lightning 3 materia. This morning, that changed. I finally understood how people get so attached to that character, and I felt that little tightness in my intestines that I associate with loss and loneliness.

The way I figure is this: I was building a new neurological association with an emotional category related to either pair-bonding or loneliness or both. I think this is my brain reacting to the shift from resource dependence (on parents) to resource independence. This would be because my mind is shifting from resource scarcity to…not quite resource abundance so much as the knowledge that having sex is okay now because having a baby wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

Tangent: I may not be the trooest thal in existence, but I’m definitely not wired to be a loser AND a parent at the same time. Parasitism might be where I’m at, realistically speaking, but I can’t say it works for me. On the other hand, the preferred prole method of reproduction appears to be to have kids by accident, then either take off (black males) or just never interact with the kids because they’re desperately working 80 hours per week (Mexicans, low-class whites). I expect this is why NW European altruism doesn’t allow us to have three or four generations living in the same home.

About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Feeeelings

  1. bicebicebice says:

    “I expect this is why NW European altruism doesn’t allow us to have three or four generations living in the same home.”

    Care to elaborate? I’m currently reading that both ways.

  2. A.B. Prosper says:

    Prior to what is essentially breeding of docile people by the Catholic Church and the manorial system, NW Europeans always lived in multi-generational housing from huts to great halls.

    Its mentally healthier and thriftier

    If anything the current economic crisis has a strong upside in that people realize they need kin and don’t need to chase money but to put down roots . Big State and Global Corporations hate that one proverbial weird trick but its best for actual people.

    My best guess long term, people are going back to that system and not a moment too soon. Once fertility rates recover after the urban die-back , larger tighter families are security.

    • Robotnick says:


    • bicebicebice says:

      Me and my kin liberated you from the evils of the family!
      Why would you want to live with your pissed and piss stained demented grandpa going on about how the “hooked nosed kike basterds” ruined the world! This is antisemitism!
      The white european family unit is the catalyst for the next holocaust!

      Go get a comfy loan and watch TV instead, celebrate your freedom!


      Regards Melon Melonson

  3. MM says:

    Best of luck to you, Aeoli.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      Thanks man, it’s good so far. We’ll meme my career into existence with our dreams.

      • MM says:

        Everyone here wants you to succeed. The negative feedback(of course) didnt work but now that you have momentum I’ll do my best to give you energy. You are smart enough to become a very useful and important person!

  4. MM says:

    Also, here’s episode 2 to give you cancer.

    Seriously though… Thalforce cures cancer.
    (My computer keeps wanting to correct “Thalforce” as “Afrocentric”

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      That was phenomenal dude.

    • Boneflour says:

      Video was pretty funny. Can’t believe you got Roger Stone on such a new show! Must be the melon powers at work.

      Anything Boneflour on the thing, do it either with a shitty AHNOLD SWARZENEGER impression, an even worse hoop doop bix nood impression, or just audio of a chimpanzee screaming. (or all three)

      Gotta rep the Thalforce brand man. When your incredibly respected customers hear testimonials, they want the primal erection in their ears. Sell the sizzle, not the oven.

      Speaking of rocketing to the moon, I gave a guy one of your Five Dollar Free Trials™ of Thalforce™. This is what happened to him on Day 1, talk about fast results!:

      • MM says:

        Its pretty amazing what bleach, sugar, and a proprietary blend of psychoactive drugs can do isnt it?(Respected customers- LOL. Without the bribes to Congress Thalforce would be banned in 2 sec. Many of them are hooked on it like crack whores hehehehe)
        BTW- The original vid was 10 mins and all the shit you wrote was in it, as it was hilarious. Cutting the fat was best though. Didnt mean to make you into a dink the dialogue was just too good.

  5. Boneflour says:


    We are indeed rooting for ya.

    Re: Your last paragraphs… what does the sage wisdom of Steel Panther have to say about your (thankfully former) situation?

    From the Book of Balls Out:

    I wanna make one thing crystal clear
    When I want an ice old beer
    Get it real quick and say “yes, dear”
    Those are the words that I wanna hear
    We’ll get along – you will see
    Focus on taking care of me
    You gotta make me a priority
    Cuz I’m a pretty bitchin’ commodity
    Dear old dad, now he’s dead
    But when he was alive he always said
    “Make those bitches take care of you
    Cause that’s what women were born to do!”

    More wisdom:

    If I’m reading this right, you shouldn’t wait till you’re in some idealized independent state. Find a girl, have her co-sign your loans, have sex, whatever. Just if you’re not ready for kids, do anal.

    I’m pretty sure I could justify this position with ad hoc rationalizations from the Bible as well. So you know, that’s meaningful.

    Now to write something actually productive instead of joke posts and semi fake advice.

  6. What are names for says:


    this post is off-topic and in my opinion (for what it matters) it should be removed once you read it.

    Your remark (OK, you were quoting somebody else, I am mindful of this, but I can’t remember whom) that the master personality sees itself as bigger than the world and the free one as smaller has a corollary you left unsaid.
    The master personality wants to be around intellectually inferior people (just a reminder of how big they are, and how comparatively small the world, lol). The free, who is really a guy apt at seeking for trouble (usually) tries to be in the company of intellectual uppers: it’s one of some ways one has to explore, after all, and an intelligent free loves to learn (not specialistic knowledge, rather a bit of everything, since he has a very high curiosity Q — which relates with imagination, which as you said relates with will for freedom).

    It’s easy to notice that the more arrogant people are, the more they work to make sure no intellectual peer or higher of theirs comes around :))…

    They are also sure to see any objection to a point they make as a challenge to their personal worth: this they share with the slaves.

    Boy, do these people cloy me.

    • What are names for says:

      Actually, they share a lot with slaves.

      After all, they evolved to get along each other, so it’s no surprise.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      That’s not off-topic at all, it’s just in the wrong post. It’s a really good point so I’ll try to figure how to move it.

    • Aeoli Pera says:

      Also, you have it slightly wrong. You’re describing the “slave” personality, not the “master” personality. The master considers himself equal to the rest of the universe, and capable of perfect understanding.

      • Heaviside says:

        >The master considers himself equal to the rest of the universe, and capable of perfect understanding.

        It’s one thing to hold this as a mere intellectual opinion and another thing to know it as an absolutely self-evident truth apprehended by means completely different from normal cognition.

        • Aeoli Pera says:

          I agree. You’re a perfect instance of this psychological theory.

          • Heaviside says:

            No I am not. Misunderstandings like this should make you consider refraining from writing about paganism/occultism.

            • Aeoli Pera says:

              I’ll consider that, but I don’t believe I’m wrong about this. And I believe most of the time someone disagrees with me on this subject, it’s on dogmatic grounds.

            • Heaviside says:

              “To be enlightened is simply to understand fully the true nature of your own mind. Understanding fully the true nature of your own mind is equal to understanding everything.” — Kobo Daishi

  7. Pingback: More feelz | Aeoli Pera

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s