Inspired by a rant from the original nobilid:
Super Mario, a white male made by japs, seems to be the best compromise.
As much as I enjoy shitting on jap cartoons in favor of western super heroes, can you really trust them in this day and age? Would I feel safe letting my family watch the latest super hero movie? No, of course not.
The only way western heroes can redeem themselves would be the next blockbuster plot being super man, spider-man and batman teaming up with the “villains” to bomb western universities and beat up everyone at a pride parade, but that’s not gonna happen. Heck, are they even white anymore? This is where the japs shine, their autism is unshakeable, Mario appeared in 1981 and he is still a white straight male.
An amazing accomplishment in this day and age.
Western heroes were bred for war propaganda and in peace time, to promulgate the values of the west. Today they are spearheading the rot that is infesting and decaying the west. Thanks guys.
The original batman and his values, (see the instruction manual), can probably only be found in a bootleg chinese factory, together with Robert Cop and the rest of the gang. A bit physically distorted sure but still on the job.
This is starting to resemble some form of religio-political osmosis with a planet of the apes like ending. Why can’t I just have normal super HEROES?!?! Why did they all turn into Captain Sweden.
The collective nerd rage will soon power the first fusion reactor.
This is why we can’t have idolatry. If you can’t turn to Jesus at least turn to Mario for now, he is a wholesome guy with good values, unlike his western fucknut counterparts.
Globalization Means Everything Breaks At Once
This requires a bit of understanding. Goethe’s great(?) contribution was to recognize that the secular humanism which enlightenment thinkers were so proud of was actually a harbinger of Western cultural death. His plan to revive the West (without something so yucky as Christianity…eww, just eww!) was to resurrect the ancient European gods and thus replace Christianity rather than simply removing it, similar to Julian the Apostate’s project.
Now, combine this with Chris Knowles’ thesis that Our Gods Wear Spandex. The fascist American propagandists of the early 20th century were looking for a way to reintroduce these pagan values and gods as substitutes for Christian culture and a good alchemist never lets a crisis go to waste. Commenter Steve explains why this didn’t actually work:
The thing that makes paganism worse than useless is nobody believes in it.
Do fat, middle aged Wiccans with mystic crystals in their fannypacks really believe in magic? Really? No, no they don’t. If they did, they wouldn’t need to drive cars or visit doctors or hold down jobs.
Do internet nazis really believe that Odin and Thor and all the rest of the Aesir gang are living it up across the Bridge Bifrost? Naw, it’s just silly LARPing.
So even aside from theological concerns, it fails the most basic test of being a viable religion: actual, sincere, unironic faith from its supposed followers.
Nobody’s going to risk life and limb defending the gates of Vienna for a cartoonish pseudo-religion that’s less credible than an episode of ThunderCats.
This is because people who are into social engineering think everybody else is also LARPing their faith for the health benefits. “Everyone lies for effect” = I lie for effect. It never occurs to them that religion could be something other than an evolutionary group adaptation, but actually describe real things. That’s their big mistake, and it’s why psychopaths only have fake charisma. If you want to be a prophet, you have to believe your own narrative- and I don’t just mean goodthink affirmations and the power of thinking big, I mean Real Actual Adult People Belief like “I believe the mall is on the northeast corner of fourth and central”.
If you get your religion from the alternative history literary equivalent of Harry Potter, don’t be surprised when your temple meetings look like Comic-Con.
I already gave my medium-hot take as to why the early Harry Potter books were such crossover hits, breaking out of the Little League of children’s fantasy novels and becoming hugely popular among adults, but I’ll disobey Occam’s Razor and offer another mostly unrelated hypothesis about why Harry Potter stories are such useful allegorical material for contemporary liberals, aside from a general hunger for myth and meaning in a post-religious age.
Harry Potter, especially the movies, is about the legitimacy of authority that comes from schools.
Getting Your Owl
If this rant pisses you off, cast one of your hexes on me and see if that makes you feel better. Remember, if it doesn’t work that just means you aren’t believing hard enough.