I just watched this movie with my troo noo melonboooon brainparts. Turns out esotericism a lot of fun once your parietal grows in. Spoilers follow.
There’s a lot of esoteric shit just in this advertisement, and the inverted triangle alone alerts us that it falls on the saturnian/ahrimanian/babylonian/chaos end of the Manichean order/chaos dialectic, but I’ll try to stick to the stuff that’s interesting through an edenic lens. I’m sure Chris Knowles or somebody can pick up the slack on the occult symbology or what have you. I will say this- don’t fall for the PG-13 rating and let your kids watch it, there’s a ton of sexualization and even a completely unnecessary, 5-minute pole-dancing scene.
The only interesting characters from this perspective are the two protagonists, a pair of male and female owl melon federal agents. If you ignore the obligatory grrrl power aspects, their interactions are a perfect representation of the owl melon archetype and I might recommend this movie for that reason alone. Both characters were plausible and realistic and the actors did an impeccable job.
The movie is about an alien race stand-in for Ashkenazi Jews called “Pearls”, envisioned as a matriarchal Swiderian sea people. Please note the occipital bun raised into the backswept parietal position, conferring the trademark Swiderian dolicocephalism and implying neanderthal hybridization.
The plot is that they wuz just standing on the corner mindin’ they business and dindu nothin’ but a bunch of humans were having a war next to their planet and killed (((6 MILLION))) of them as collateral damage. Being spiritually superior to humans, the survivors forgive the callous genocide of their people but still want the philosopher’s stone as reparations (a little alien rodent that shits infinite energy gems). The rest of the movie revolves around their quest to obtain this philosopher’s stone and power the spaceship by which they will search the stars for a new homeland. (Paging Chris Knowles…) I’m sure you’ll be VERY SURPRISED to learn that they eventually obtain it by convincing the female owl melon to steal it and give it to them, “because that’s what love is”. In turn, she convinces the male owl melon to go along with it because otherwise she won’t have sex with him. I’m not even exaggerating any of this.
Between the Pearls’ diaspora and aliyah, they go from idyllic tribal primitives living in perfect harmony wif der earf to a race of technologically superior supergeniuses by studying the humans’ art and science (in the space of 30 years) and doing it way better than the goyim…I mean humans. After wandering through space for a while, they find their way to Alpha, the platonic cosmopolitan space station metropolis. Hence the name “city of a thousand planets”.
Naturally, the Pearls go straight to the heart of Alpha, set up camp, and begin scavenging parts for their spaceship. In the meantime 4-star general Literally Hitler (played by Clive Owen) is trying to eliminate them to cover up the Holocaust because he feels so guilty about the whole thing, and fears the humiliation of being found out.
Also, off-topic, did I mention they’re extremely feminine? Even the male Pearls are voiced by women, and this is something you’re obviously supposed to notice, feel uncomfortable about, and then accept as a random weird sci-fi thing. And there’s this bit where shapeshifter Rihanna dies and morphs into her true form: an Egyptian pharaoh princess. Maybe that was just something she demanded to bring her starpower to the movie? Apparently it’s this big thing. It was completely weird, unnecessary, out of place, and broke the movie’s immersion for the next five minutes, but I that’s KANGZ for you.