April 25, 2007 by CH
Women have a mental laundry list of traits they want in a man. They throw out hoops to jump through and head games to separate the worthy from the pretenders. A crucial part of seduction is role reversal. It is intoxicating to a woman to be pursued by a man who will judge her for more than her looks. That means sticking to a mental list of qualifications women must meet if they want to enjoy the pleasure of your company. The trick is to pay it more than lip service; having standards means nothing if you don’t actually believe in them.
[Ed: The point is not to push everyone out of your life for being imperfect. Disqualifying girls is a gradient from intimacy to arm’s length to restraining orders. And there is provision for situational appropriateness:] If a girl jumps on top of a bar to dance for an appreciative audience on our first date I know she will be a poor choice for a girlfriend but a great ride for a torrid fling.
To any girl I meet: when I strike up a conversation with you this is what is going through the back of my head. Don’t be that girl…
… who thinks diamonds are a better best friend than a dog
… who lost touch with her femininity
… who has given up on love
… who pretends she can play like a boy
… who flakes
… who knows what she wants a little too surely
… who is an attention whore
… who is practiced in the art of aloofness and indifference (that’s my job)
… who cannot handle teasing
… who has sexual hangups
… who cannot take a sincere compliment
… who has lost her joie de vivre
… who doesn’t understand that men and women complement, not compete with, each other
… who re-applies her make-up every 10 minutes
… with daddy issues
… who doesn’t at least reach for the check
… who likes being a trophy a little too much
… who reads between every line
… who curses and flips the bird a lot
… who uses too much trendy slang
… who will accept flirting from other men while we are out on a date
… who mugs for invisible cameras
… who is externally validated
April 26, 2007 by CH
Lol, these would make great chapter headings for a CH book.
April 27, 2007 by CH
May 2, 2007 by CH
No good can come of meeting the ex of your woman. Two facts about the wiring of the male brain make it unpleasant. 1) The harem mentality, a deep (often repressed) instinct in men to treat women as property, shames the ex-boyfriend as a defeated rival. 2) The predisposition to compulsively visualize sexual conquests makes both the ex and the usurper uncomfortable. On the other hand, if the ex-boyfriend is not someone you like, then strutting like a rooster in his company is worth enduring the bad mental images of him and her fucking like you and her fuck now.
Despite this warning, you may be tempted to pry her ex for insider information. This is a waste of time. He will be badly jaundiced by the emotional undertow of the breakup, so don’t expect objective analysis in these situations. This goes for positive as well as negative reviews.
May 3, 2007 by CH
Nothing here, although it would be going through this stuff again to write a different book about dysfunctions specific to latter-day American women.