Imagine reading a random newspaper story from around the world and looking desperately for some way, any way, it could be proof the storm is happening RIGHT NOW.
See, what happened is they were planning a canoe trip and SATANIC PEDOPHILIA but they saw Chris Kyle (360 confirmed no-scopes) in the driver’s seat of a train, eyeing them suspiciously. So they faked their deaths with the help of ABC News, but ABC News went back on their word and reported them missing instead because Chris Kyle was pointing a train at their heads in the pressroom. And if Vox Day is a metaphor, then what does the trainwreck symbolize? THE STORM.
Also, Henry Kissinger /ourguy/?
*Entire train belatedly crashes into the peaceful water they were canoeing in like 8 hours after they go missing*
While Thunderstruck plays
This would be a great Blockheads panel.