I took a long walk just now to clear my head after a long day of screentime. Usually this is a great way to provoke whatever is feeling the most salient to find it’s way to the top of my consciousness. Today I came back with only a single idea in mind: I should change my primary goal to growing the most glorious mustache reasonably attainable, using all of my efforts and resources. This is clearly a sign that my parietal has grown strong enough to stage a coup d’etat. Crazy anthropology theory: maybe melonheads were just neanderthals who got tired of losing.
Unrelated, but comparable in excellence: https://therightstuff.biz/2020/05/24/ftn-israeli-panopticon-deep-dive/
Aeoli Pera 
Is it gonna be one of those meticulously-groomed twirly staches or a big manful Tom Selleck type thing?
The former, if I decide to do it. Imperial British style, just go full ham.
Pedo stache Pera
😍😍😍
My idea of a pedo stache would be like a wispy, “misfired” version of a pencil mustache. Like a “malnourished” version of a basic thin mustache or pencil stache.
A John Waters stache
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/napoleondynamite/images/0/04/Kip_Dynamite.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20120117222921 hehe I get it same reason as women with no eyebrows (hysterically plucked/scalped) all have borderline
Melonheads don’t buy into facial hair (that can be shaved) because they want a consistent identity to stamp their foot with.
Hell yeah they need to be hairless before I beat them within inches of their lives.
Non negotiable.