Practical application

This is a great example of the many practical uses of 99th percentile associative horizon. I’m so happy I was born this way instead of with, say, higher intelligence or sex appeal.

LoxHound: Anti-Semitic witchhunters.

CrocksHound: Special operations unit dedicated to delicious and easy to prepare family dinners.

BlocksHound: Will have to show up in Blockheads someday.

RocksHound: Geology special ops dedicated to preventing melonheads from dropping nukes into volcanoes.

DoxHound: Actually too easy, probably exists already.

CocksHound: Special ops unit comprised of your mother.

HocksHound: Special unit dedicated to hocking sick loogies.

HawksHound: Guts on his quest to bring down Griffith.

BoxHound: Too easy, been done.

(From Ken) SocksHound: special unit devoted to archiving DNA samples of future world leaders

GroksHound: Special ops unit dedicated to psychological warfare via speculative new metaphysical paradigms on the internet.

KrocsHound: Special ops alligators under Commander K. Rool dedicated to stealing Donkey Kong’s banana stash. Not to be confused with CrocsHound: Sworn enemies of SocksHound. Unless you’re a dad, in which case that’s just comfy.

XOXOXOXHound: Special operations unit comprised only of Misato, best girl from Evangelion.

GlocksHound: Gun-grabbing liberals who travel in a series of military-style rolls.

VoxHound: Former employees of Gavin McInnes dedicated to wiping out the Proud Boys.

TalksHound: The militant wing of TedX.

CaulksHound: Home Depot unit with a mission to prevent creaky stairs in your house.

FaulksHound: Ryan Faulk’s personal debunker on RationalWiki.

FauxHound: Psychological operations with a mission to fool people whose pronunciation is still reliant on sounding words out.

ToxHound: A generic virtualenv management and test command line tool for Python with a dark secret

MorlocksHound: FBI agents doing gayops on 4chan.

I’m going to stop here, because admitting two-syllable words ending in “ocks” into this exercise is a void I dare not stare into.

(Ken says “Bollocks.” :D)

99th percentile associative horizon master race. Today this list of puns, tomorrow the world.

About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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2 Responses to Practical application

  1. Boneflour says:

    Fantastic poast. My only suggestion is to spell as many of these as possible with an X to make it easier to put it in allcaps on a shoulder patch.

    For example, VOXHOUND is mission ready.


  2. Assistant-Professor FaulksHound, the Recently Underemployed Critical Race Theorist says:

    In my defense, those debunkings were written ironically in order to let my fellow hipsters know how cool I am. Just think of them as an avant-garde form of artistic expression. Some people wear clothing from previous eras, even though it is the current era, while others create sculptures that don’t represent anything. I, the other hand, successfully use fallacious reasoning and outright misrepresentation to refute all of Ryan’s points even though I completely agree with him.

    Incidentally, you have unintentionally managed to provide me with evidence of your degenerate pattern of American English pronunciation. Having a funny, non-Southern accent is a crime that shall not go unpunished once the great cleansing is upon us.

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