Initial thoughts on social skill and social intelligence

Life is performance and people repeat the performances that they see.

-Borzoi, The Feasts of Shame (

Social skill will be defined as fluency in social performance, or more clearly the absence of friction in social performance. Social intelligence will be defined as the ability to interpret the speech and social performances of others. The acme of social intelligence is to observe social performances at a glance and see/feel in one’s mind something like a probability distribution over the potential motivating factors for the performance, where the model is continually updated as in behavioral economics to be more empirically accurate and precise.

It’s a truism that communication is only 10% verbal. Tactful misrepresentation is the entirety of this 10% of social skill. Recognizing this is the easy part of social intelligence and the most important part for autistic people, who over-rely on the verbal aspect of communication and assume by nature that verbal representations tend to be motivated by a desire to communicate honest representations of reality as perceived by the communicator.

The beginning of social intelligence is distrust without subtlety. One assumes everything spoken is manipulative and builds subtlety by looking for exceptions and patterns in those exceptions. However, it’s not necessary or generally desirable to inform anyone else of one’s doubts–as a rule open distrust is punished but silent distrust is the rule and not resented. To wit, begin by always silently pressing X to doubt, then adjust from this extremist position. For example, in the modern day most adults will not lie when asked for directions to the nearest gas station (they may, however, be incompetent to give directions), but most adults will lie heavily when asked their opinions about race in a public setting because they are pursuing/protecting their interests. These are reliable patterns which reveal a pattern of self-interest as understood by most people. Self-interest and plausibility are the only concepts necessary to understand tactful misrepresentation.

Neurotypicals are motivated to go through this process of unsubtle distrust in early puberty when individualistic competition begins in earnest (motivated by budding sexuality). Most will cease competing aggressively when puberty ends and settle into whatever level of social development they’ve achieved by then, preferring a mostly easygoing and comfortable social affect with only low-grade competitiveness and primarily using their developed social intelligence to avoid victimization. This is where “normies” come from. As a rule, normies distrust everything they hear but trust everything they see, which is why visual media are so important for propaganda purposes. This is because they have learned through experience that it’s very difficult and resource-intensive to be successful in nonverbal tactful misrepresentation. Similar to the way aspies will adopt a strategy of absolute verbal honesty for lack of early success in verbal deception, normies will adopt a strategy of performative honesty around the age of 25.

Those few neurotypicals who master the art of nonverbal tactful misrepresentation are candidates to enter the social elite of spies, actors, politicians, con men, white-collar criminals, serial killers, musical performers, military generals, and other social niches of endless fascination to normies. If a person’s day job is socially performative, they must have learned to enjoy it through early successes, a natural temperament tending to the performative arts, and enough systemizing practice to overcome the uncanny valley in nonverbal tactful misrepresentation. Otherwise even if they have great ability, they will tire after only an hour or so of performance.

About Aeoli Pera

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9 Responses to Initial thoughts on social skill and social intelligence

  1. parasocial nightmare web MM says:

    The self must prove to others that it exists and is worthy of existing
    It was created via delegation and is itself a delegation.

    That delegation is missing lots of parts, especially from the external world.

    And many of those parts do not exist in reality.

    Nothing satisfies but that’s not gonna stop anybody.

    Its like the joke: “How do you know someone is experiencing ‘ego death’? They will tell you.”

    That’s how you know Booooodhist (nihilists 01) are full of shit unless they
    don’t fucking talk to anyone. Or do anything. And then die.

    (Tldr(?): Own it and normies will fall in line. Just go full aspiepath and dress like pinhead. Tell them you are going to IPO a blockchain lithium mining A.I. corporation in Australia (or anything tbh).)

    (The best thing would be to perform only for yourself, but I obviously do not have the answer to that or I would not be writing this.)

    • what says:

      I worked that out when I was 9 when I justified continuing to exist with wanting to watch more anime. It’s not a novel realization. Parasocial part is true.

      • Aeoli Pera says:

        How old are you now?

      • MM says:

        What a painfully ‘special’ and ‘unique’ reply.
        How many times does it have to be said: Everything is basic bitch.
        Most of all being a real speshul boy with real speshul thoughts.

        All you can do is be more interesting. Thats your only hope :/

        • what says:

          Comes with the territory of never being truly capable of creativity. We observe shadows of fires and try to create a replica fire from its odd dance, more or less the basis of of the idea of a “dark soul”, it’s just spewing the same shit and hoping something with greater insight than us could reveal the obvious, the information gradually loses resolution each passing succession.

          Then again it’s hard to figure out whether your criticisms are self criticisms or one you try to expand into a universal. But it’s less about being interesting as it is doubling-down on whatever you’re focusing on, you’re not going to catch the eye of anyone who already knows what’s being talked about. It only hurts to say the obvious when you’re around people who don’t like things being explained. Effort is cringe.

          • qark says:

            Try loving your neighbour, then you might come to love yourself.
            Try going to a wood and soaking in the beauty, the sounds and smells and noises.
            Try being thankful to God for creating everything, and give a little something back to Him and to others He created.
            Start praying. Watch what happens.

            • what says:

              I don’t want to live in lobotomized wonder over the world. The world isn’t a play in which I can sit back and relax while I drink tea, moronically laughing at the antics of those lovable retards while I feel smug superiority over how I’m clearly, by way of things, above them, beyond the realm of even questioning. It’s one that I take part in, and one I envy for its ability to create beauty. Feelings of love in the sense of wanting only pleasant things to happen isn’t what I try to hold, love as wanting the best is closer to it. It’s a demand. (I’m 110% certain this has all been said before).

              Try writing a story, putting in as much autistic detail as you possibly can fit while still retaining a good level of coherence and flow from one scene to the other, without explanations bogging down the experience. You want your world to be unique and its own, whatever alterations from the normal world you’ve made adequately explored for its possible consequences, including what sort of philosophies humans would come up to explain it, or what it can be used to explain something else, and how they shape themselves to better utilize, or act against, it.

        • what says:

          Here’s something to be horrified by, MM

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