Two lessons from being sick all week

Last Saturday I came down with the worst case of strep throat I’ve ever had. It was bad enough that I was considering the hospital as a possibility despite having no health insurance, which would have required a declaration of bankruptcy in the future and probably a wasted year or two of my life. Fortunately, I figured out that laying on your stomach isn’t just for Covid, it’s for everybody. That allowed me to finally get some sleep. The only issue now is that I’m losing a lot of weight because the antibiotics are preventing me from stuffing food through my nonexistent digestive system.

Lesson 1: Just being insanely healthy isn’t good enough anymore. American society exists for no purpose other than breeding super-pathogens. This can be done formally in military labs, as in the case of Covid, for the ostensible purpose of poisoning the Chinese, or it can be done informally by refusing to tell homosexuals to knock it off for, like, a day, so the dreaded monkeypox can run its course and die off. My strategy has always been insane levels of fitness, sleep, and nutrition, and it’s always worked for me before, but I can’t keep up with the military industrial complex’s best minds/faggots. The new strategy will require Covid germaphobia protocols around the most likely human sources of disease and the vectors who associate with them: sexual degenerates, minorities, the generational poor, the fat, the upper and upper middle classes, and parents who send their kids to daycare and public school.

Lesson 2: Covid means everybody’s a medical expert now, and I’m not exaggerating for effect. The average level of basic medical competence has plummeted past miasma theory to some pre-medieval totemic understanding. At the same time the average level of confidence has gone up so much that ordinarily trustworthy people become dangerous to be around when you’re in your most vulnerable condition. Once ill, you cease to be a human being and become a religious altar on which people excitedly practice the mystical comprehensions of medical science they’ve inherited from vague political intuitions and Google news feeds (literally designed to drive them crazy and kill them). I was lucky my family remained ignorant and absent until I was already getting better because they began arranging treatment plans the moment they heard something was wrong. Last I heard from my landlord, my dad was texting him the formula for an ancient Southern remedy, the base of which is heated bourbon and molasses, which he remembers from halcyon days in Dixie.

Asked if this concoction is useful for treating strep throat, he replied, “Oh that’s right, you have strep throat. I keep thinking it’s Covid. Well, you should just try it and see what happens. It’ll help you sleep.”

About Aeoli Pera

Maybe do this later?
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18 Responses to Two lessons from being sick all week

  1. baduin says:

    Heated bourbon and molasses is good for a common cold, Covid etc, but you should consider hot grog – lemon juice is good.

    In fact, I have a very good recipe for colds and Covid. It includes gurgling throat with Povidone-Iodine (extremely diluted). It seems that it should not be dangerous in your situation, but it probably won’t help a lot.

  2. ShadoHand says:

    `Last I heard from my landlord, my dad was texting him the formula for an ancient Southern remedy, the base of which is heated bourbon and molasses, which he remembers from halcyon days in Dixie.`

    Is this for real? Because if it is your parents are Narcissists and your landlord has Millenial Derangement Syndrome.

  3. ShadoHand says:

    “Lesson 2: Covid means everybody’s a medical expert now, and I’m not exaggerating for effect.”

    No you are not. I got sick a couple of weeks back. I just kept going to work. The manager panicked and told me I should get a COVID Test because he has emphysema. I then got into an argument about it with him and laid it all on the line. I argued for three possible alternatives to what he was saying. Then had to get into explaning immunology and disease vectors. The guy finally sprinted away from me and didnt mention it again.

    Now heres the real kicker. Some guy on first shift was sick too, but nobody cared. Hes Black. I’m White. As usually not only are these idiots now medical experts, they are using it as a tool to hunt White Men.

  4. Post Alley Crackpot says:

    Sick with strep?

    Make a bowl of parboiled rice with butter, salt it heavily, and eat that slowly.

    Do not eat anything with Brassica vegetables since you can make the situation with a competing bacterial infection even worse.

    You shouldn’t be worried about The Rona, BTW, Thal Boy, because you probably have the OAS1 gene variation that prevents it from replicating.

    Snog a few nurses and get back to us about how you’re still Rona Free. :-)

    But you can do this daily ritual to keep strep from being a problem.

    (Doctors hate it when you do this one trick!)

    Keep your fingernails trimmed short (or just gnaw on them), then use bar soap every morning on your fingernails to clean them out.

    That removes all kinds of growth that includes nasty cysts that can really mess up your year.

    Try peppermint leaf or citrus aurantium for viruses other than dsDNA types that won’t respond to RdRP inhibitors.

    Try vitamin B1 and glucosamine hydrochloride to deal with the dsDNA types, or just find a source of something rich in pyrimidine.

    The Dark Satanic Pharma Lords try to hide the fact that most antivirals are based on pyrimidine variants, some so far gone that they’re essentially reengineered pyrimidine.

    Anything else, seek out another Crackpot, I got this from another one.

    Good luck with your infectious green snot. :-)

    • mmmmmmmmm says:

      >Do not eat anything with Brassica vegetables since you can make the situation with a competing bacterial infection even worse.

      I would like to know where this information comes from (truly, not being snide). I mean, if the sulfur compounds in broccoli sprouts (sulforaphane) and cabbage are so effective in disrupting helicobacter pylori then how would it make a different (much less resistant) bacterial infection worse? In what area of the body and how? These compounds encourage the production and rebuilding of the mucin layer of the gut whose sole purpose is to shield your immune system from direct contact with bacteria (thus decreasing systemic inflammation- the root cause of most disease, as well as heart disease caused via endotoxin leaking into blood stream and attracting low density lipoprotien cholesterol and immune cells thus forming arterial plaques- atherosclerosis, the biggest killer of humans at present)

      I’ve got gastritis (almost certainly h pylorii caused) and besides wild caught salmon roe (which disrupts bacterial cell membranes and also has myriad other health benefits- it is the healthiest food) nothing has helped more (olive oil also good, avoiding all sugar and carbs good, eating probiotic foods- true lacto fermented raw saurkraut, pickles, kefir. Many other things. Green tea. True ceylon cinnamon. etc.)

  5. Post Alley Crackpot says:

    So I can see why this “bourbon molasses cure” might work … on cold viruses.

    These people who consider this home remedy a success were deficient in magnesium, and so that would keep pyrimidine levels low.

    It’s like type 2 diabetics who are really dealing with malnutrition because they have such appallingly low zinc levels that the ion transports in the liver and pancreas effectively shut down and trigger glucagon dumps.

    Then when they get on insulin injections, their HbA1c numbers start to improve not because of insulin control, but because of the zinc adjuvants.

    Pay no attention to that hominid life form behind the curtain!

    What we may both suspect is that these “cures” that don’t seem normal are in fact not normal and are stop-gap measures to try to treat conditions that people regard as normal only because of a lack of information about how normal they aren’t.

    But this “bourbon molasses cure” won’t do squat for strep and we both know it.

  6. bannedhipster says:

    > heated bourbon and molasses

    That’s called a hot tottie and of course it doesn’t really “work” but it is whiskey. You know how southerners are.

  7. Zeb Zebley says:

    mercy, guys, you’re not supposed to act out the meme in real time.

    glad you’re feeling better, Aeoli.

  8. Watatsumi says:

    I would rather die than interact with the medical system at this point.

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