I set some of these goals at the beginning of the year. Some were opportunistic additions throughout the year when something came up that was important enough to prioritize for a prolonged period.
(Success – with caveat) Top priority goal: 4.1 GPA in my classes
Managed it (again, just barely), but with mixed feelings because I dropped the same class twice in the process, which slowed down my progress toward graduation.
“But AP, couldn’t you just take a B in the class and move on?” Unfortunately, no, the mid-range grades are random because the class is so dysfunctional that it’s impossible to predict the curve. A few students are throwing off the top end of the range because A) they’re 20-year embedded C developers getting a piece of paper because it’s required to move into management, and B) next-generation models of Asian who cheat like Liberace plays piano. These problems are known, and this class is particularly infamous in the software engineering program, but there’s no incentive to fix them and lots of incentives for everyone to continue hacking around them. My own hack was to stay in the class as long as possible and grab the homework assignments so I could do them before taking the class, because they’re exactly the same every time. To give you an idea, my grade for the homeworks in the first week was about 35% and I was already way behind on the material…so it’s anybody’s guess where I was on the bell curve, or whether I could catch up enough to pass.
To reiterate, I hit the goal and I’m proud of myself for the successes involved, but there’s a big mark on the accomplishment. Also more of it was luck than you’d guess, I almost got a zero on a final due to a misunderstanding (would have gotten a C instead of an A+), but luckily my paranoia pulled me out of bed at two in the morning to e-mail the professor for clarification.
(Success) Sort out impending personal finance crisis
I mentioned this at the beginning of the year:
These will change significantly if I get a job. Otherwise, I’m on pace to run out of money around May, so I’ll be asking family and friends for loans and possibly go live with someone if I don’t get enough to pay rent. That would also change things significantly.https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2021/12/22/quick-2021-goals-retrospective-and-2022-goals/
This worked out very nicely, but it took some creativity, a lot of luck, and some focused effort. I moved in with some family friends and that cut my bills in half (adjusting for inflation), made a bunch of money in my internship, and got some student loans to make my budget nice and comfy. It was almost worth interrupting my routine. (Maybe I should start calling it “the emperor’s groove”.)
(Success) Secondary goal: Get a summer internship
Not only that, I got an internship at the company I want to work for after graduating. This was a big deal because it’s hard to break into the laptop class when you’re
- Incel (not really, but perception matters)
- Outside the Goldilocks IQ zone
- A nontraditional student
- I could go on
Basically I’m a perfect storm of intersectionality, but not the kind on the government form.
(Success) Followup goal: Get summer internship extended
At this particular company they invite the interns they like to stay on part-time for part or all of the year following the summer internship. When I learned that, I set myself the goal of getting the extension by endearing myself to the team. This was tougher than you might think due to an unexpectedly extreme form of negligence on their part…and my expectations of corporate life aren’t exactly naive. It’s normal to wait a month for your laptop, but six months is a bit much. (I’m oversimplifying but not exaggerating.)
(Success) Followup goal II: Get internship for next summer
Same basic thing as before, and I’ve already signed the offer letter. This puts me in a good place financially to finish out the degree, sets me up with a likely job post-graduation, and gives me a great resume line item for applying to other junior dev jobs.
(Success) Squat 315 for five reps
Boneflour can confirm the depth was solid. That’s a lifelong PR by the way, I’ve never done three plates on anything because I’ve never been consistent on big leg lifts before. Beginner gainz FTW.
(Fail) Bench 250 for five reps
Plateaued for some reason and only got up to 225, which is barely higher than the two 100-pound dumbbells I was pushing for reps five or six years ago. My best guess is it was a lingering issue from injuring my shoulder in a bike crash in 2020. A couple weeks ago my bench jumped 25 pounds over a weekend, also for no discernible reason, so it looks like I’ll be able to knock this out pretty early in 2023. No rush.
(Success) Run a mile in 6:25
(Success) Run a 5k in 21:45
(Success) Drop weight to 200 pounds flat
This was a subgoal for the running goals. I prefer to stay between 200 and 203.
(Fail) The other strength and exercise goals
I ended up not working on any of these at all, so any progress toward them was incidental:
-Same strength goals as last year, except I put definite deadlines on them based on how long I expect each one to take. Plus:https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2021/12/22/quick-2021-goals-retrospective-and-2022-goals/
-Jumping rope, do double-unders for 15 minutes straight. This is approximately 1,000 of them.
-Two triathlons (by myself, to save money). An Olympic-length one in March and a half-Ironman in August.
A big part of this is I started doing one of those heavy bag fitness classes with the girls and the yoga pants, which is a lot more fun, so that’s one of my two daily workouts and the other is usually from my running plan. There’s no pleasure in life higher than punching through a bag so hard it reverberates in your stomach muscles, it feels like you’re Dragon Ball Z in real life.
(Success) Nofap for 60 days between September and December
I set this goal to test out the fourfold way of effortless nofap. It became much more serious when Akuma challenged me to a $250 bet, which I’ll admit has saved my latest streak multiple times. (“Effortless” is overselling it a little bit, the Easy Peasy description of it as the “little monster” versus the big monster of porn is about right.) Before that I was still doing AB tests with various ideas and screwing up occasionally. Anyway, it’s pretty cool to finally be off the fapping, that’s been a crutch for two decades.
(Success) Read Foxe’s Book of Martyrs
This was way too easy of a goal, in retrospect. I set it because I wanted something in the spiritual category and it’s hard to set good goals for spiritual development. This year’s will be focused on getting better at prayer, because the attention deficit becomes a serious problem.
Oh, see also https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2022/10/31/review-of-foxes-book-of-martyrs/
I also read the Bible cover-to-cover again.
(Failure) Generate $3k of income from X revenue stream at side job
I ended up quitting that job a few months after that failure, mostly because it was making me feel like a loser trying to run a business with losers. That’s not as harsh of a criticism as it appears, most people just aren’t cut out for business and there’s more to life than business. But it’s a depressing way to work and it had to go. See https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2022/09/26/inattention/
(Success) Learn hydro basics from Thames and Kosmos kit
Boneflour put me up to this one. It’s a children’s science kit with a series of experiments that you build from knockoff Legos:
It was pretty cool, but I ended up learning more about mechanics and how the structures are built than hydro or electricity generation. For example, in the picture above the gears are stacked like two overlapping stacks of pancakes to create a very compact transmission to turn slow but powerful rotation into fast rotation (to light up the LED coming out of the red generator in the top right). It’s difficult to learn that sort of thing without building real stuff, and building real stuff gets real expensive real quick. The genius of these kits is they use the same forty or so parts to build multiple structures.
I’ll let on a little secret here: despite how important I think it is to spread the gospel of micro hydro, I have almost zero intrinsic interest in it. My cognitive profile is tilted toward impractical things and it feels like an uphill battle to work within my areas of weakness during my limited free time. Most of you will take that as a sign that I don’t really believe micro hydro is the key to sustaining white Christian refugias during Holodomor 2.0, but really you should be reaching the opposite conclusion.
Or you could do like everyone else and just wait until all that venison in your garage freezer goes bad because, in 2026, the government is apportioning the scarce green energy by race. (Don’t worry, we’ll show those Demonrats what for in the midterms!) Then you’ll say golly gee whiz, I sure wish there were an electric black market in this rural paradise with a high capacity factor and a couple hundred kW to spare. If only some rando blog had solved this problem and given us five years’ advance warning! Mpai ngmi smdh roflmao
Eh, enough of that.
I got better at stuff again this year, but a lot of the success above was due to luck. (Well, I say luck to be nonconfrontational but I actually believe divine intervention in several cases.) I’d rate myself as about 25% improved with 50% better results, almost entirely due to heavy use of Balabolka recordings to reinforce the goals and visualizations. The easiest type of recording is to repeat each goal on the list a dozen times with some kind of trance-y, gentle music in the background, e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkVwuWH-woA. This takes the place of the traditional flashcards:
This consists of writing out your goals in bold letters on a series of three-inch by five-inch index cards. You write the things you want as affirmations, in the present tense and in words that are clear and definite.
This method is best used twice per day, morning and evening. Find a place where you can be alone and quiet for a few minutes. Take several deep breaths to relax your body and prepare your mind. Exhale slowly. Sit comfortably with your cards in your lap. Then read the first of your goals. Close your eyes and repeat it to yourself five times. Visualize your goal as it would be if it were already achieved. Imagine how you would walk, talk and act if the goal were a reality right now. Emotionalize your picture of the goal and create the feeling of pleasure and happiness that would accompany successful accomplishment of your desire.
Then take another deep breath, exhale and release the goal confidently. Do this with each of your goals. Your subconscious mind can work effectively in this way on ten to fifteen goals at a time. (You’ll learn an advanced system for setting your goals in Chapter Five, The Master Skill.)
This entire exercise should not take more than thirty to sixty seconds for each goal, for a maximum of fifteen minutes for fifteen goals. By doing this in the morning before starting out, you send a strong set of signals to your subconscious mind. It then activates the Law of Attraction and heightens your awareness of anything going on around you during the day that could help you accomplish one or more of your goals. By reviewing your goals in this way again in the evening, immediately before sleeping, you set your subconscious mind to work on your goals during the night. Often, it will bring you ideas and solutions when you awake in the morning.– Brian Tracy, Maximum Achievement
I prefer the audio because it’s more convenient, requires almost no willpower to complete, and you can do it lying down with your eyes closed, which activates the imagination and can have the added benefit of turning into a nap if you need one. The music also intensifies the experience and provides a feeling of continuity with previous sessions. This is part of my “falling asleep” playlist but these days I’m almost always out before I reach that track (I think I’ve gotten to it twice in three months).
The other type of recording is the same kind of music but with the visualization for the current primary goal spelled out like so: https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2022/02/12/example-visualization-script/
My main self-criticism this year is not taking my own advice to be 30% less ambitious and playing it way too close to the edge with my bandwidth. That’s where a lot of the luck/divine intervention saved me–I bit off more than I could chew enough times to count as hubris. I also need to get more serious about setting aside regular, scheduled time for creative work so it doesn’t wind up like a spring and blindside me at a bad time.
All in all though, pretty good year.
Noice. Winning and grinning.
do you believe in the “most people have a family and a stable income at 26” meme? do people like that actually end up satisfied with their lives?
> do you believe in the “most people have a family and a stable income at 26” meme?
Statistically, they’re a minority. Depending where you look, the average age of marriage is around 30. This is a pathological situation though.
> do people like that actually end up satisfied with their lives?
The divorce rate is high enough to rule that out by definition. However, almost all people who end up satisfied with their lives have a family and stable income. Arguably the exceptions would be even more happy if they had those things, and are simply happy despite their circumstances.
that seems to be a rational perspective. what type of work do most of these people end up in?
my situation sucks because i only see sales jobs everywhere now that i hold a Bachelors degree i would like to enter work in my field.
also where do people meet their spouses? dating apps are usually for flings and so are most social settings but where are most people meeting their significant others?
theres a lot of room for improvement in my life obviously but i dont think that playing video games watching movies and working minimally makes me unhappy any more than being stressed out doing work i dont feel comfortable in would.
however i do believe that my life can be improved tremendously if i find that one job lose weight and then find a romantic interest etc. i just dont feel i should rush it at this time because although ill be turning 27 very soon there can be accommodations made as to how i go about my ventures.
> what type of work do most of these people end up in?
The majority of stable marriages are among religious conservatives in the middle and upper middle class (“Belmont” in Coming Apart, not Fishtown). They tend to be in conservative, well-paid professions like sales, real estate, and engineering.
> also where do people meet their spouses?
In the current year:
1. They don’t
2. Dating apps
Traditionally the other options were church, college, friend groups, common interests (e.g. Karate), and bars/clubs, but the success rates in those have gone off a cliff.
sales jobs imo are not real solid professions. real estate isnt either. engineering is a default for people with higher IQs.
fair assessment? what type of work are most young people doing these days? how are they making money?
i know a lot of people get passive income through stocks or whatever but i can never find out how they make the initial income to start investing!
`i can never find out how they make the initial income to start investing!`
They didnt. They made reckless decisions and didnt get burned. Most likely living paycheck to paycheck like everyone else. Oh and also luck.
The sales jobs are a crapshoot.
Someone like you, or even I, wouldnt make it in sales today because wed be targeted from the get go. Especially, by the salesmen not doing their jobs.
I know a guy that works sales. Alcoholic. Constantly getting fired, has a new sales job 2 weeks later. Meanwhile I struggle to get an interview in stuff Im competent in and have been doing for years.
Ita truely just luck and random chance. And nobody wants to say it.
> i only see sales jobs everywhere now
Most of those are essentially fake jobs to increase department headcount, but the money is okay.
hmm i know what you mean but i dont know what you mean. why would they not need salespeople?
are you saying they dont need as many? i would agree with that completely.
`However, almost all people who end up satisfied with their lives have a family and stable income.`
Or the wife works. And/or the only reason they have a stable income is because people have sympathy for them because they have kids. Its really annoying.
Also, no income is stable. These people have just been extremely lucky and have zero trauma. They literally live in a fucking bubble where nothing bad ever happens. And if does they just lie to themselves and act like it never did.
A lot of these people, men really, ignore the things that allow them to stay afloat. Its really annoying. The men would be nothing if the women couldnt work and didnt control the finances.
Im getting fucking sick of it. Our society props up losers at the expense or everyone else.
i would like to see my parents pass away before i do anything big in my life! theyve been such a strong hindrance to my success and abilities. definitely me just ranting though.
unfortunately for them my parents dont have much longer to live. i should get my act together before they go but again the situation is worse when my parents are alive than when they go.
my biggest immaturities are not having basic life skills like being able to drive cook food or wash clothes. these can be easily solved:
1. cook food-microwave premade meals from a store
2. drive-get an Uber
3. wash clothes-get a maid
all of this will be expensive as hell but i figure if i make 60k a year i can afford it.
im just waiting to find work save up for a year without spending more than 30% of the money and then enact this plan.
if you have any suggestions Aeoli or others please feel free to give me them.
I’d learn how to wash clothes as a first step, it’s super easy.
yeah i can do it. i dont think cooking food in the traditional sense is hard either. driving will be my; biggest uphill battle but eventually that should be easy too.
i should be good to leave soon.
Just stop betraying your inner true self and inner light (maybe God, maybe ‘just’ field of consciousness) and realize that you have UNDENIABLE CHOICE as a conscious being that is willing to exert its full will over the robotic brain and the forces of darkness. No trinket, praise, pleasure, or accomplishment has any value whatsoever compared to the simple act of existence and of actually being really you, present in THE moment, with access to your true feelings without the cage you have built for yourself.
You think you really want your parents dead? You have unfinished business.
You cremated your care like the satanists do, and in return you received mere comfort and robotic complacency. A light dimmed. That’s why you have only negative emotions- because the truly positive ones are the most painful, the most real.
I am just letters on a screen that is yet another cage, but those feelings are YOU and you can make a choice of what you want to be and how you are going to really care for yourself and others whilst keeping the pain of meaning to a level that is not totally overwhelming.
im not sure i understand you speak english before i deport you.
Do you not even have the mental energy to be honest with yourself? Its not anyone else’s problem to avoid YOUR doom.
what the fuck are you talking about lol. youre overthinking things you idiot.
i mean trying to interpret what you said its very hard since you splashed together all types of buzzwords and stupid concepts but what im thinking here is that you think i have potential to be an ubermensch.
in which case im very flattered and i will take it but not because you said it but because it is true.
you are lacking in the potato department (none dared call it “Treestumping”…)
“Boneflour put me up to this one” thats a good tip; a “savvy” person would make a list of 50-100 Higher IQ gifts that adults and kids be liking the same, get a referal link, then keep adding “DONT MISS THESE 10 NEW SUPER HOT TOYS THIS CHRISTMAS”. would probably take less than 5 minutes to set up and promote towards american soccer moms and nu-males…
side hustle? might as well go back to the moon….
“It became much more serious when Akuma challenged me to a $250 bet, which I’ll admit has saved my latest streak multiple times.”
You’re welcome. Remember now, it goes up to $500USD at the end of the year.
I havent Fapped or Drank Either.
$250 is enough to keep it serious without making it a financial life event. I’d be tempted to lie about $500, that’s most of a rent payment.
`I’d be tempted to lie about $500, that’s most of a rent payment.`
So you’re a Gamma then. Maybe you ought to go look up the list of logical fallacies.
Everyone Ive told this bet about IRL accuses you of being a liar @Aeoli. They half believe me, or accuse me of being manipulative, despite the fact Im just calmly telling the truth. However, they dont believe you are telling the truth. Even This is despite all the credible informational sources have been available at their finger tips for well over a decade. Its all so tiresome.
Its why I am 110% convinced most males are small petulant little man children that cant think further into the future than where their next beer is coming from. Its the real reason why our Civilization is a train wreck. Anticipating problems, or even just mitigating them, has been branded paranoid behavior. This is despite the fact that we have brain scans showing that the frontal lobe of the brain is involved in contingency planning.
People dont want to Big W Win. They want to wallow in flith and want to have just enough to survive until tomorrow. Or at the very least their next social interaction. Where they assert some Narcissistic-Sociopathic dominance over their situational or in Big R Reality betters.
There is so mich untapped potential and possibilities because, well Texas Arcane said it best “Homo sapiens couldnt organize a bowel movement.”
Is the GuTOW available? I was unable to find it on the fightfailure blog.
No, but this is still up:
its mostly good, though needs re-arranging by topic. I hard disagree with the no negative info thing and the diet recommendation (needs fermented foods, ev olive oil, fish oil/eggs, making healthy but really tasty food knowledge, yada yada) but oh well, the productivity stuff is still great but really you could just read this
(and then simplify if needed- like the whole a,b,c task thing- that is great for life planning but day to day? sounds like overkill. Just number from most important to least)
It really depends what you want out of life though.
So really the old greek advice to know thyself is gutow, really. After that figuring everything out is a walk in the park in comparison and all a ‘gutow’ might do is save a few hours (well, and some traps but all that ‘detergent and plastic kills your balls/tapwater bad’ stuff is mainstream now and whatnot).
But hey, its deff possible to navel gaze forever. Perhaps the best question is what do you HAVE to know about yourself and life to know what you need to do? And then learn that and do it. Think about death and meaning alot, how you want to relate to others, what is actually valuable in life, trying to survive the horrific restructuring of society that is occurring/the multi polar world re-emerging (and what that will do to markets and society next couple years and on). Also- maintaining the wealth you create in forms that will last for posterity or even just yourself- land and water source, food production, survival items such as water purification, precious metals, defense, community. I’ll put out something at some point, just have alot on the mind (trying to understand consciousness and shtuff)
1. Very good, looks like my negativity was misplaced a month ago(? might have been much longer, no sense of time)
2. Liquids electricity generator thing is cool but freezer drier is the thing.
Freeze dried meat, 02 absorbers, silica gel, food grade buckets. Stack it fucking deep PROTEIN. If anyones in a hurry to get at least some meat that lasts Id say sardines from costco when on sale (go great with soysauce or worchestershire sauce or og franks red hot/tabasco not the one with the soybean oil that will go rancid and also is just not healthy or as good)
Yes electricity is cool but we all need to get nutrition sorted as first priority (and of course future food generation, but a couple years of food stored is minimum imo)
and also store LOTS of salt and such. Epsom salt for magnesium.
Goal 1- not die
Goal 2- electricity
Goal 3- prosperity
I say the sardines because no heavy metals like tuna, and they will last 8 years
Sea salt covers the other electrolytes too.
Aeoli what do you think about you playing politics with people? do you think its effective etc.?
Aeoli none of your accomplishments mean anything if you dont come to the conclusion you’re not a genius nor will ever be.
At least im a charismat.
Thanks for the information.
Aeoli why did you censor my comments? is your ego too fragile?
okay nvm theyre there. they werent for a second. anyways get over your god complex and then youll meet god!
i have faith in you Aeoli. you can win big time if you keep pushing through the pain.
Aeoli trust me when i say this because no one is going to be honest with you here because they are deluded into thinking youre some sort of savior for them.
essentially youre just another person with a role to play. life is not complicated as you want to make it out to be. just get good grades graduate get a job find a wife. thats phase 1. phase 2 is your choice to make but as long as you finish phase 1 youll be fine.
`they are deluded into thinking youre some sort of savior for them.`
Im not. Hes my Brother in Arms. I read here for the intellectually stimulating convos.
`life is not complicated as you want to make it out to be.`
Actually, it is. When you’re surrounded by idiots that cant/wont and/or dont know how to think, you have to plan out every little thing.
If life was that simple wed be sipping Mimosas on a starship out near the Oort cloud but we arent.
Or maybe Im just cray cray. No fuck that noise. I remember dreaming of being on a starship with antigravity tech when I was like five. I thought it was a dream, but now that I look back now how did I know those words and be able to think about that at that young age. Theres no other explanation than I tapped into some background logos or I was really on that craft.
I want to see the asteroid belt before I die, and these filthy monkeys wont help me get there. And I work with some guys making thousands of dollars a week. Yet Im forced to do this all myself, because well only Beer, Tits, and Work Harder!” are all that matter.
What LOADED is doing here, if anyone wanted to understand it.
again you need to stop overanalyzing the situation life isnt as complicated as you seem to want to make it out to be.
for example you as a fat alabamn redneck should live the best life you can with the resources you have. no sense in making it more complicated than it is.
all youre doing is punishing yourself by grasping at straws that dont even exist. seriously.
What’s your read on this, and why did I just watch it for motivation before doing my last set of squats?
(Yu Yu Hakusho is low-key a great show for psychology.)
1. Grandiosity is one of the most primitive defense mechanisms (the world as exterior reality is likely the first- not to say it does not exist but all that you have ever been is your consciousness, including all interactions with exterior objects, except perhaps god/greater field of consciousness if it exists)
and this is why it is fairly normal for children to believe they have ‘powers’ especially if traumatized.
(him walking in the darkness is retreat in pure inner world to find strength, all consciousness is on internal information)
2. Monster person thing is representative of the ‘Third’ self/dark self (assuming the thing from the jung post of two selves for simplicity but… its more complicated imo) playing the role of villain either to force the life function of the first via enacting a story (killing or perverting a mental introject or construct to force a change but just wearing a mask, not actually evil, a horrific shit test of sorts) or ACTUALLY trying to run ‘the show’, corrupting/killing functions, and thus forcing the appearance of the true form, conscious choice/experience to put the animal in his place.
3. Blue high energy spirit things= high consciousness gamma brain waves, neural supply, secondary inner lights/harmonics, positive parts of collective unconscious and/or the various allied subpersonalities/introjects backing him in internal struggle. One of those.
tldr: The dude is fighting a powerful interior object and this has been externalized with the villain and you resonate with that because you aren’t actually fighting the weights, you are fighting ‘yourself’ for control of yourself.
these are just my raw intuition thoughts though, and I just went by the clip with no background.
No hes not. I agree with him. You’re just some fat hick living off Mommy and Daddys Money.
Remember that time you threatened to call my father. Well I got news for you buddy I got him to plead guilty to threatening to kill me in court. And I have proof of that too.
So go ahead try your drama games, cause they dont work.
P.s. Vaknin is on record as saying Psychology/Psychiatry are not a science. We both know what that means. I dont need to beat this horse to quarks now do I.
need i remind you all that im probably the only on this blog including the author of it who holds a degree! for a bunch of so-called geniuses why is it so hard to attain something so easily carved out as an education!
“who holds a degree”
I have a degree. A degree and a half to be exact. Never finished the second and Im not getting into why. Youd wonder why I havent shot up the APA yet, or didnt Slaughter a Platoon of Marines yet.
And yes, its all true. But nobody believes me. So here I sit and I get to watch Christendom burn because idiots. Fuck these assholes. All of them.
So Aeoli update on the bet.
Im sitting here getting food now at the bar, and I have no urge to drink. Im looking at the twisted teas and want to barf.
Oh also too I had held another wet dream last night. Held one during the week too.
The one last night was scary. I had just driven deep through the wildnerness in an area well known for moose crashes. In a snow storm. I settle in and slept in the car in a parking lot as the snowstorm went on around me. I had a sleep paralysis dream and felt the wet dreaming coming, and saw a demon. Woke up and cast the demon, and fear presence, out in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ in heaven.
So I aint breaking anytime soon broski. This bet will keep increasing and you will be the one paying me.
Good luck though, because you’re going to need it, and you will lose.
Did you not let the last comment through Aeoli, because it scares you that you are going to lose a bet? You’re a big boy now dawg you can handle this.
Just away from keyboard. Happens sometimes.