Disclaimer: While I think the following advice is sensible, it’s written in the absence of parenting experience.
A dad’s responsibilities to his children, in order of importance, are:
1. Prevent catastrophic outcomes of all sorts, ranked by severity and probability
2. Demonstrate a healthy model for how a man ought to act toward his wife
3. Demonstrate a more general model of masculine virtues
4. Indoctrinate the children with morals and virtues (this includes explicitly prescribing the indoctrination your wife is giving them, and verifying she’s done so by talking to them)
Edit: A big one I forgot is choosing your children’s peer group so they’ll make friends from a pre-selected pool of kids, so you don’t have to constantly select out bad apples.
I can argue for the ordering of these if need be. This post provides reference material for the latter.
Morality has three forms, again in order of importance:
1. God’s approval
2. One’s approval of oneself
3. The approval of other people
Virtue, in the original sense, means high general ability to get what you want (virtus means “strength”), and corresponds to having many of the things that the best people have. A more modern definition would be living in accordance with your ideal self-concept, or “the best conceivable future version of your current self”. The most important virtues that can be trained (i.e. not IQ) are:
3. Cognitive empathy (particularly self-knowledge)
4. Etiquette (i.e. the study of situationally appropriate behavior)
Here are the top books I’d pick to read to your children to accomplish as much in these categories as possible in the least amount of time:
1. The Bible (focusing on age and temperament-appropriate sections)
2. The Chronicles of Narnia
3. Lord of the Rings
4. Pilgrim’s Progress (not the sequel, which is poor)
5. Maximum Achievement
6. The Champion’s Mind (I’ve heard that Mindset by Carol Dweck is also good for this but I haven’t read it)
7. How to Win Friends and Influence People
If you’re looking for more, here are the categories I’d recommend drawing from:
Fairly tales, particularly dark fantasy (e.g. Grimm’s, Lovecraft)
Books of proverbs (these are very good for training judgment)
Books boiled down for GUToW
Pre-Boasian anthropology, especially emphasizing methods of analytical people-watching
Other pop-sci books on how attitude/motivation/etc. actually work (e.g. Drive, The Dopamine Handbook)
If there’s interest I may put together book lists for each type of morality and virtue, but I expect this is already quite a lot to ask.
For spergy children in particular, I’d recommend getting Tony Attwood’s books on the subject after reading my intro to Asperger’s post and the links in it. Also a good bit of advice I once saw is to find books about your location for tourists that explain the local etiquette, customs, and history.