The Neanderthal’s Journey

I tried to grow a melonhead, and this was necessary. But the truth is I can’t be Ender Wiggin. Men like that are born more than they’re made. I’ve always felt more like Bean, and the book Ender’s Shadow is a more perfect representation of the Neanderthal’s experience of life. We’re born into a Hobbesian world of death and deceit, set apart from humanity for a special purpose, and it’s only later in life that we learn what it means for us to be human and feel ordinary feelings. Maybe it’s because my best friend growing up was an effortless, instinctive leader that I never wanted to be the protagonist of a story. I wanted to be the protagonist’s right-hand man, a trusted specialist and adviser in a war against…something. Maybe that Hobbesian world I’ve come to treasure as a worthy opponent, full of ruthless guile and served by legions of faceless mooks.

The relationship between Gilgamesh and Enkidu is a fraught one. I didn’t pick the banner for this blog lightly (thanks again to aiaslives for making it), it’s one of the most archetypal images I’ve ever encountered. I wanted it to stick in your craw the way it sticks in mine, the perfect representation of everything that makes us human together, two opposing forces of nature personified, mysteries of genetic chance wrestling with feelings of mutually reverential awe and mutually incomprehensible betrayal. It’s hard not to compare the relationship to the one between man and woman, only ever united by an existential enemy of proportions that exceed the bounds intuition can explore.

The mechanism through which higher human intelligence (combined with low time preference) was bred over time is straightforward. Given that man is physically weak and ill-equipped to deal with brute nature, it was advantageous for him to develop his intelligence.[10] Higher intelligence translated into economic success, and economic success in turn translated into reproductive success (producing a larger number of surviving descendants). For the existence of both relationships massive amounts of empirical evidence are available.[11]

There can be no doubt that a hunter-gatherer existence requires intelligence: the ability to classify various external objects as good or bad, the ability to recognize a multiplicity of causes and effects, to estimate distances, time, and speed, to survey and recognize landscapes, to locate various (good or bad) things and to remember their position in relation to each other, etc.; most importantly, the ability to communicate with others by means of language and thus facilitate coordination. Not every member of a band was equally capable of such skills. Some were more intelligent than others. These differences in intellectual talents would lead to some visible status differentiation within the tribe—of “excellent” hunters, gatherers, and communicators and “lousy” ones—and this status differentiation would in turn result in differences in the reproductive success of various tribe members, especially given the “loose” sexual mores prevailing among hunter-gatherers. That is, by and large “excellent” tribe members would produce a larger number of surviving offspring and thus transmit their genes more successfully into the next generation than “lousy” ones. Consequently, if and insofar as human intelligence has some genetic basis (which seems undeniable in light of the evolution of the entire species), hunter-gatherer conditions would over time produce (select for) a population of increasing average intelligence and at the same time an increasingly higher level of “exceptional” intelligence.

The competition within and between tribes, and the selection for and breeding of higher intelligence via differential rates of reproductive success, did not come to a halt once the hunter-gatherer life had been given up in favor of agriculture and animal husbandry. However, the intellectual requirements of economic success became somewhat different under sedentary conditions.

The invention of agriculture and animal husbandry was in and of itself an outstanding cognitive achievement. It required a lengthened planning horizon. It required longer provisions and deeper and farther-reaching insights into the chains of natural causes and effects. And it required more work, patience, and endurance than under hunter-gatherer conditions. In addition, it was instrumental for success as a farmer that one possessed some degree of numeracy so as to count, measure, and proportion. It required intelligence to recognize the advantages of interhousehold division of labor and to abandon self-sufficiency. It required some literacy to design contracts and establish contractual relations. And it required some skill of monetary calculation and of accountancy to economically succeed. Not every farmer was equally apt in these skills and had an equally low degree of time preference. To the contrary, under agricultural conditions, where each household was responsible for its own production of consumer goods and offspring and there was no longer any “free riding” as under hunter-gatherer conditions, the natural inequality of man, and the corresponding social differentiation of and between more or less successful members of a tribe became increasingly and strikingly visible (in particular through the size of one’s land holdings). Consequently, the translation of economic (productive) success and status into reproductive success, i.e., the breeding of a comparatively larger number of surviving offspring by the economically successful, became even more direct and pronounced.

Further, this tendency of selecting for higher intelligence would be particularly pronounced under “harsh” external conditions. If the human environment is unchangingly constant and “mild”—as in the season-less tropics, where one day is like another year in and out—high or exceptional intelligence offers a lesser advantage than in an inhospitable environment with widely fluctuating seasonal variations. The more challenging the environment, the higher the premium placed on intelligence as a requirement of economic, and consequently reproductive success. Hence, the growth of human intelligence would be most pronounced in harsher (historically, generally northern) regions of human habitation.

-Hans-Hermann Hoppe, A Short History of Man

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the stories of Gilgamesh and Enkidu are marked by an unstable partnership between the ultra-idealistic charismatic and the ultra-realistic genius: Ender and Bean, Griffith and Guts, Napoleon and Berthier. We’re like the negative poles of two superconductive electromagnets crushed together by Nature in the most hellish pressure vessels she can devise to launch electrons in a spectacular display of power. The world’s greatest scientific minds could not have designed a better weapon for the preservation of favored races in the struggle for life.

Not tonight, that’s all, thought Bean. Tonight I can rest. Tomorrow I’ll learn what I need to learn. When I’m not so tired.

He closed his eyes.

He opened them again. He opened his locker and took out his desk.

Back on the streets of Rotterdam he had been tired, worn out by hunger and malnutrition and despair. But he kept watching. Kept thinking. And therefore he was able to stay alive. In this army everyone was getting tired, which meant that there would be more and more stupid mistakes. Bean, of all of them, could least afford to become stupid. Not being stupid was the only asset he had.

[…]

For Bean, the assignment was merely to think of the unthinkable — stupid ploys that might be used against them, and ways to counter them; equally stupid innovations they might introduce in order to sow confusion among the other armies and, Bean suspected, get them sidetracked into imitating completely nonessential strategies. Since few of the other commanders understood why Dragon Army was winning, they kept imitating the nonce tactics used in a particular battle instead of seeing the underlying method Ender used in training and organizing his army. As Napoleon said, the only thing a commander ever truly controls is his own army — training, morale, trust, initiative, command and, to a lesser degree, supply, placement, movement, loyalty, and courage in battle. What the enemy will do and what chance will bring, those defy all planning. The commander must be able to change his plans abruptly when obstacles or opportunities appear. If his army isn’t ready and willing to respond to his will, his cleverness comes to nothing.

The less effective commanders didn’t understand this. Failing to recognize that Ender won because he and his army responded fluidly and instantly to change, they could only think to imitate the specific tactics they saw him use. Even if Bean’s creative gambits were irrelevant to the outcome of the battle, they would lead other commanders to waste time imitating irrelevancies. Now and then something he came up with might actually be useful. But by and large, he was a sideshow.

That was fine with Bean. If Ender wanted a sideshow, what mattered was that he had chosen Bean to create that show, and Bean would do it as well as it could be done.

But if Ender was lying awake tonight, it was not because he was concerned about Dragon Army’s battles tomorrow and the next day and the next. Ender was thinking about the Buggers and how he would fight them when he got through his training and was thrown into war, with the real lives of real men depending on his decisions, with the survival of humanity depending on the outcome.

In that scheme, what is my place? thought Bean. I’m glad enough that the burden is on Ender, not because I could not bear it — maybe I could — but because I have more confidence that Ender can bring it off than that I could. Whatever it is that makes men love the commander who decides when they will die, Ender has that, and if I have it no one has yet seen evidence of it. Besides, even without genetic alteration, Ender has abilities that the tests didn’t measure for, that run deeper than mere intellect.

But he shouldn’t have to bear all this alone. I can help him. I can forget geometry and astronomy and all the other nonsense and concentrate on the problems he faces most directly. I’ll do research into the way other animals wage war, especially swarming hive insects, since the Formics resemble ants the way we resemble primates.

And I can watch his back.

Bean thought again of Bonzo Madrid. Of the deadly rage of bullies in Rotterdam.

Why have the teachers put Ender in this position? He’s an obvious target for the hatred of the other boys. Kids in Battle School had war in their hearts. They hungered for triumph. They loathed defeat. If they lacked these attributes, they would never have been brought here. Yet from the start, Ender had been set apart from the others — younger but smarter, the leading soldier and now the commander who makes all other commanders look like babies. Some commanders responded to defeat by becoming submissive — Carn Carby, for instance, now praised Ender behind his back and studied his battles to try to learn how to win, never realizing that you had to study Ender’s training, not his battles, to understand his victories. But most of the other commanders were resentful, frightened, ashamed, angry, jealous, and it was in their character to translate such feelings into violent action … if they were sure of victory.

Just like the streets of Rotterdam. Just like the bullies, struggling for supremacy, for rank, for respect. Ender has stripped Bonzo naked. It cannot be borne. He’ll have his revenge, as surely as Achilles avenged his humiliation.

And the teachers understand this. They intend it. Ender has clearly mastered every test they set for him — whatever Battle School usually taught, he was done with. So why didn’t they move him on to the next level? Because there was a lesson they were trying to teach, or a test they were trying to get him to pass, which was not within the usual curriculum. Only this particular test could end in death. Bean had felt Bonzo’s fingers around his throat. This was a boy who, once he let himself go, would relish the absolute power that the murderer achieves at his victim’s moment of death.

They’re putting Ender into a street situation. They’re testing him to see if he can survive.

-Ender’s Shadow

I alluded before that an important aspect of the bildungsroman story is that it’s about how society expects a contradictory result from the way it treats teenagers: They want to break you, and they want you to come out of it a winner. This is insane because breaking people doesn’t make them stronger, and then all the broken people get thrown on the trash pile of history. It’s unbearably wasteful. In the story of Ender’s Game, the lesson Graff is trying to teach Ender is that he has to win every battle without failing even once, and that he’ll always be alone with the entire world against him. To do the impossible not just once, but every time he’s thrown into the forge. To live in a world of fire.

“They can’t break you.”

“You’d be surprised.” Wiggin breathed sharply, suddenly, as if there were a stab of pain, or he had to catch a sudden breath in a wind; Bean looked at him and realized that the impossible was happening. Far from baiting him, Ender Wiggin was actually confiding in him. Not much. But a little. Ender was letting Bean see that he was human. Bringing him into the inner circle. Making him … what? A counselor? A confidant?

“Maybe you’ll be surprised,” said Bean.

“There’s a limit to how many clever new ideas I can come up with every day. Somebody’s going to come up with something to throw at me that I haven’t thought of before, and I won’t be ready.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” asked Bean. “You lose one game.”

“Yes. That’s the worst that could happen. I can’t lose any games. Because if I lose any …”

He didn’t complete the thought. Bean wondered what Ender imagined the consequences would be. Merely that the legend of Ender Wiggin, perfect soldier, would be lost? Or that his army would lose confidence in him, or in their own invincibility? Or was this about the larger war, and losing a game here in Battle School might shake the confidence of the teachers that Ender was the commander of the future, the one to lead the fleet, if he could be made ready before the Bugger invasion arrived?

Again, Bean did not know how much the teachers knew about what Bean had guessed about the progress of the wider war. Better to keep silence.

What the melonhead learns in his prison made of fire is that he can’t do it. It’s not that he learns he needs to give rein to his officers so they can take initiative and grow, he was born knowing that, it’s that he learns to believe that a peer must exist somehow. It’s a belief born of desperation and the fear of death: if the only possible way to survive is for a sort of person with a will entirely apart and capacities beyond comprehension to exist, then such a man must exist. The pressure creates the belief, which precedes the search.

The bildungsroman is about the experience of being broken and still winning. It’s about clawing your way out of the casket society buried you alive in.

They’re putting Ender into a street situation. They’re testing him to see if he can survive.

They don’t know what they’re doing, the fools. The street is not a test. The street is a lottery.

I came out a winner — I was alive. But Ender’s survival won’t depend on his ability. Luck plays too large a role. Plus the skill and resolve and power of the opponent.

Bonzo may be unable to control the emotions that weaken him, but his presence in Battle School means that he is not without skill. He was made a commander because a certain type of soldier will follow him into death and horror. Ender is in mortal danger. And the teachers, who think of us as children, have no idea how quickly death can come. Look away for only a few minutes, step away far enough that you can’t get back in time, and your precious Ender Wiggin, on whom all your hopes are pinned, will be quite, quite dead. I saw it on the streets of Rotterdam. It can happen just as easily in your nice clean rooms here in space.

So Bean set aside classwork for good that night, lying at Ender’s feet. Instead, he had two new courses of study. He would help Ender prepare for the war he cared about, with the Buggers. But he would also help him in the street fight that was being set up for him.

It wasn’t that Ender was oblivious, either. After some kind of fracas in the battleroom during one of Ender’s early freetime practices, Ender had taken a course in self-defense, and knew something about fighting man to man. But Bonzo would not come at him man to man. He was too keenly aware of having been beaten. Bonzo’s purpose would not be a rematch, it would not be vindication. It would be punishment. It would be elimination. He would bring a gang.

And the teachers would not realize the danger until it was too late. They still didn’t think of anything the children did as “real.”

So after Bean thought of clever, stupid things to do with his new squad, he also tried to think of ways to set Bonzo up so that, in the crunch, he would have to take on Ender Wiggin alone or not at all. Strip away Bonzo’s support. Destroy the morale, the reputation of any bully who might go along with him.

This is one job Ender can’t do. But it can be done.

The genius’s journey is above all a matter of faith. No one wants to hear the truth, and they especially don’t want to hear it from the smallest kid in Battle School that everybody knows has the highest scores. In real life, it looks more like being the homeless guy with no money and what appears to be a magical ability to guess things he shouldn’t have clearance to know, a voice calling out in the wilderness. So you’re stuck preparing your entire life for what feels like a singular moment that will never come, that critical point when the only thing between life and death is the final IQ test question that no one else in the room can crack.

He hasn’t frozen up, thought Bean. He hasn’t panicked. He has simply understood the situation, exactly as I understand it. There is no strategy. Only he doesn’t see that this is simply the fortunes of war, a disaster that can’t be helped. What he sees is a test set before him by his teachers, by Mazer Rackham, a test so absurdly unfair that the only reasonable course of action is to refuse to take it.

They were so clever, keeping the truth from him all this time. But now was it going to backfire on them. If Ender understood that it was not a game, that the real war had come down to this moment, then he might make some desperate effort, or with his genius he might even come up with an answer to a problem that, as far as Bean could see, had no solution. But Ender did not understand the reality, and so to him it was like that day in the battleroom, facing two armies, when Ender turned the whole thing over to Bean and, in effect, refused to play.

For a moment Bean was tempted to scream the truth. It’s not a game, it’s the real thing, this is the last battle, we’ve lost this war after all! But what would be gained by that, except to panic everyone?

Yet it was absurd to even contemplate pressing that button to take over control himself. Ender hadn’t collapsed or failed. The battle was unwinnable; it should not even be fought. The lives of the men on those ships were not to be wasted on such a hopeless Charge of the Light Brigade. I’m not General Burnside at Fredericksburg. I don’t send my men off to senseless, hopeless, meaningless death.

If I had a plan, I’d take control. I have no plan. So for good or ill, it’s Ender’s Game, not mine.

And there was another reason for not taking over.

Bean remembered standing over the supine body of a bully who was too dangerous to ever be tamed, telling Poke, Kill him now, kill him.

I was right. And now, once again, the bully must be killed. Even though I don’t know how to do it, we can’t lose this war. I don’t know how to win it, but I’m not God, I don’t see everything. And maybe Ender doesn’t see a solution either, but if anyone can find one, if anyone can make it happen, it’s Ender.

Maybe it isn’t hopeless. Maybe there’s some way to get down to the planet’s surface and wipe the Buggers out of the universe. Now is the time for miracles. For Ender, the others will do their best work. If I took over, they’d be so upset, so distracted that even if I came up with a plan that had some kind of chance, it would never work because their hearts wouldn’t be in it.

Ender has to try. If he doesn’t, we all die. Because even if they weren’t going to send another fleet against us, after this they’ll have to send one. Because we beat all their fleets in every battle till now. If we don’t win this one, with finality, destroying their capability to make war against us, then they’ll be back. And this time they’ll have figured out how to make Dr. Device themselves.

We have only the one world. We have only the one hope.

Do it, Ender.

There flashed into Bean’s mind the words Ender said in their first day of training as Dragon Army: Remember, the enemy’s gate is down. In Dragon Army’s last battle, when there was no hope, that was the strategy that Ender had used, sending Bean’s squad to press their helmets against the floor around the gate and win. Too bad there was no such cheat available now.

Deploying Dr. Device against the planet’s surface to blow the whole thing up, that might do the trick. You just couldn’t get there from here.

It was time to give up. Time to get out of the game, to tell them not to send children to do grownups’ work. It’s hopeless. We’re done.

“Remember,” Bean said ironically, “the enemy’s gate is down.”

Nothing truer has ever been said than this: the power and curse of Neanderthal is that we’re just plain too stupid to die. It’s our blessing and our curse to see the world exactly as it is and somehow, despite knowing better than anyone on earth that there’s no hope, to never give up. Our minds are always restless to find an answer, always clawing away at the mortar in the walls. Unceasing, and ultimately unstoppable. You could more easily reverse the course of entropy than keep a Neanderthal away from a solution that ought to exist.

“All your gambles paid off,” said Bean.

“I know what happened, Bean,” said Graff. “Why did you leave control with him? How did you know he’d come up with a plan?”

“I didn’t,” said Bean. “I only knew that I had no plan at all.”

“But what you said — ‘the enemy’s gate is down.’ That’s the plan Ender used.”

“It wasn’t a plan,” said Bean. “Maybe it made him think of a plan. But it was him. It was Ender. You put your money on the right kid.”

Graff looked at Bean in silence, then reached out and put a hand on Bean’s head, tousled his hair a little. “I think perhaps you pulled each other across the finish line.”

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” said Bean. “It’s finished, anyway. And so is the temporary unity of the human race.”

Sisyphus indeed.

tl;dr- I believe melonheads and Neanderthals are socially epistatic under conditions of harsh group selection.

In the northernmost regions, with long and deadly winters, provisions of food, clothing, shelter, and heating had to be made that would last through most of a year or beyond. Planning had to be in terms of years, instead of days or months. As well, in pursuit of seasonally and widely migrating animals, extensive territories had to be traversed, requiring exceptional skills of orientation and navigation. Only groups intelligent enough on average to generate exceptional leaders who possessed such superior intellectual skills and abilities were rewarded with success—survival and procreation. Those groups and leaders, on the other hand, who were not capable of these achievements, were punished with failure, i.e., extinction.

-Hoppe again
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Things are moving

For the most part people and societies like to get into ruts where every day is like the previous day and nothing changes except for the slow walk in whatever direction the rut takes them. But every now and then something seeps into the drinking water and people make their moves into different ruts. Maybe it’s a response to social uncertainty and anticipated upheaval or something. I remember back in 2020 it seemed like everybody I knew bought a new house for some reason or another.

Well, I’m noticing it again. It’s impossible to prove from personal anecdotes, but the social fabric suddenly feels a lot more pliable than usual. It’s probably adaptive for people to make their big life changes all at once at times of uncertainty. So if there’s some big plan you’ve been meaning to kick off or some big shift in your character you’ve been thinking about making, I’d advise you to pull the trigger. The way these things work is whatever you do intentionally during times like these becomes your new autopilot, the “new normal”.

-Your friendly neighborhood turtle shaman XOXOXO

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Normie heaven is restaurant hopping

Have I ever criticized normies? I’d better do that, someone needs to say something about these normies.

You know what really grinds my gears? When you’re out to eat, and the only thing other people at the table want to talk about is other restaurants. First of all, maybe show some gratitude for the food that’s actually in front of you. Secondly, it’s rude to do your Yelp reviews right in front of the wait staff like they aren’t people with feelings. But most of all, what pisses me off is it’s a microcosm of the bigger truth that people are just big, endless maws with consciousness tacked on as an afterthought.

Normie heaven is just eternal restaurant hopping, like a bar crawl except it’s hobbits eating breakfast, second breakfast, and elevenses at three different ethnic restaurants. I understand a big part of talking about other restaurants is peacocking and competitive frivolity, but it wouldn’t work if there weren’t a genuine interest in living like this. It pisses me off to realize most people aspire to nothing more than an endless procession of plates of food being brought to them by slaves. I don’t want it to be true. It makes me lonely. Things that look human should have thoughts and emotions and hobbies other than consumption.

Ultimately this is a religious feeling, because the Christian conception of humanity is that we were created to worship God, which is an act of consumption. As I’ve mentioned before, this is literalized in the Eucharist where we literally eat God. And since we become what we eat in a very real sense (because we consume what we worship), I see the people around me worshiping food and becoming food themselves. It’s so easy to think of people as cattle when all they think about is the next mouthful.

It’s very difficult to love the profligate. Why are hateful qualities like smarminess and self-indulgence high-status? Answering my own question, it’s peacocking. But it’s really fucking annoying.

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Conformist behavior as standardized relationship interface

Long ago in the pre-Trump internet (I would quote it if I could), Tex wrote about how cro magnon man tends to organize his house in the exact same way as everyone else as if preparing for a visit from the inspector general. The bedroom will have a single bed in the same spot, kitty corner from the doorway, and if the cro magnon is in the stage of life where he is technically a “student” he will also have a writing desk in this room regardless of whether he actually studies somewhere else or ever writes longhand. In contrast, someone with Asperger’s will tend to eccentric DIY organization schemes based on hacked-together daily routines. The example Tex gave was that an aspie might stick a bed in the kitchen to facilitate taking a nap in between routine kitchen tasks. This attitude of dismissing everyone else’s opinion on any subject, unless it is well-argued (and preferably in a book), and reinventing the wheel from scratch according to personal theories is the essence of Asperger’s Syndrome. The discovery that many normal behaviors are “lindy” and have good arguments in favor of them, which ordinary people are unable to recite simply because they don’t care to have reasons for what they do, represents a significant intellectual achievement for the Neanderthal.

The simple reason why normies feel the need to do the exact same things in the exact same way as everyone else is it makes it very easy to live with and around other people. For example, my preferred, natural sleep schedule is 8 pm to 5 am, but I’ve had to change my bedtime to 11 pm to keep in contact with my normies, who all stay up later than they should after their kids go to bed to get some personal time in. Would we all be a lot happier on an 8 to 5 rhythm? Sure, but it’s not going to happen because 11 pm is the least common denominator for most adults and that means the rest have to follow suit or not be a part of adult society. You can’t switch back and forth, so if go to sleep at 8 most days but your D&D group stays up until 11 pm on Wednesdays you’re going to have to give up one or the other. So it’s not always the optimal, Kantian categorical imperative solution, but it tends to be the one that maximizes your ability to have healthy relationships with a relatively wide range of people (who are also trying to maintain healthy relationships with a wide range of people who generally don’t go to bed at 8).

This is at the top of my mind because, in anticipation of a focused unicorn hunt starting next year, some of my daily habits are starting to stick out as things I would have to give up in order to live intimately with a roommate. The most obvious thing is that I sleep on the floor on one of those Tempur-Pedic mattress toppers, which for some reason horrifies all the normies. I could give my reasons for this, and the normies could try to make up their amusingly misguided just-so stories for why you have to sleep on a bed, but ultimately it makes no difference. Someone is going to be compromising on this point, and it’s not all that important to me (and apparently it’s VERY important to you people). If that were the full price of what I want, I’d be getting a pretty good deal. There will be more important things to have knock-down, drag-out fights over, like whether we’re going to church this morning. (The answer, by the way, is yes. We are going to church this morning because we go to church on Sundays, and the reason why is because I’m dad and I said so.)

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Patience and the art of giving advice

After many years of giving and receiving unsolicited advice, I have two primary observations:

  1. People who know each other well generally agree on what is good to do.
  2. People who give advice have insanely short timelines for how long they think something should take.

Back in 2017 Edenist Whackjob said I should take a year and become a data scientist. Just shy of six years later I’m coming to around the same conclusion as I get toward the end of my software engineering degree. It was good advice, or rather the directionality of it was perfect whereas the timeline was…uh, optimistic. I’m reminded of all those videos on YouTube with title cards yelling “LEARN C++ IN SIXTEEN MINUTES!” Nothing that takes less than six months is worth doing at all, in my book. Why is everybody in such a rush, anyway?

This has also been my experience of giving advice. People generally agree when you say they should do this or that, but then you get to the logistics part and it becomes a nightmare. It turns out that if prior conditions were ideal, people would already be doing everything they wanted to do. As the advice-giver, the part I wanted to do was fix a guy’s squat form, but it turns out he can’t use his gym membership without a working car, so he needs a better job, so he needs the extra confidence and energy to look for one, and his girlfriend just cheated on him yesterday. The fact that my squat form is already fine means I’ve already navigated all of that stuff years and years ago, and it’s hard to keep that in mind when, in my normalcy bias-addled brain, it feels like fixing squat form should only take a couple of minutes.

To fix a guy’s squat form, you must first overthrow the government and cure his mom’s cancer.

So in reality, when I offer basic advice on any subject I’m actually signing up for years and years of encouragement to overcome thousands of very basic problems as part of a gradual transformation of character into the sort of upper middle class social striver who can afford to care deeply about the difference between a high-bar squat and a low-bar squat. In practice, it looks a lot like being a good friend and being uncomfortably enthusiastic and sticking with a guy through thick and thin while being a positive influence in his life generally. When he’s ready, he’ll look up a YouTube video and learn how to squat without my help. And then he’ll come to me all excited and explain how important good squat form is and explain how it’s done, because of course he’s forgotten that I told him all this years ago. So then I just listen and nod sagely.

Nah, just kidding, I give people so much shit when this happens. “Bro I told you that fuckin’ YEARS ago!”

tl;dr- It’s the prerequisites that get you. Anytime you give someone advice that you think is the most basic shit, assume it’s going to take about 10-100x longer than you think it should and you’re signing up to be encouraging and positive that whole time. You think something should take a couple weeks? More like three years. Just keep your advice to yourself if you don’t have that much time on your hands.

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Everything you need to know about tech leadership in one anecdote

Not long ago, I was at a sort of town hall for a giant IT department with 10 IT VPs onstage. Here’s the demographics:

  • All ten were 50 years old, give or take maybe 5 years.
  • Five were men, five were women.
    • At least two of the women were white and at least one was Indian. (The women were so completely forgettable that I can’t remember their skin colors.)
    • Two of the men were white, two were Indian, and one was black.
      • Of the two white guys, one was clearly homosexual and the other was a family man.

They were doing an icebreaker where they’d ask a question and go down the line to get each VP’s answer. The questions varied between competitive frivolity and meaningless big picture questions you can’t answer honestly like “what’s important to you in an IT organization?” (Lots of white men with high average IQs.) On most questions, the answers varied like you’d expect. For example, when asked what book had influenced them the most, they’d cite some NYT-bestselling piece of drivel from the last two years.

(The black guy said “The 48 Laws of Power” and I laughed out loud, thinking he was joking. He was not joking. The joke would have been that a proper sociopath doesn’t tell you he’s a sociopath. More likely, a sociopath is unfamiliar with the term because he doesn’t see much point in reading.)

However, there were three questions where the answers lined up so perfectly it indicates an intense selection effect:

  • “Who is your hero?” 8 out 10 said “my mom.” The white family man said “my spouse”. One of the white women said “my grandpa”.
  • “What piece of technology would you be lost without?” 8 out of 10 said “my iPhone.” One said “my iPad” and the gay guy said “my Apple Watch”. (Note the absence of keyboards.)
  • “If your department had a magic wand that could grant any one wish, what would you wish for?” 10 out of 10 said “a bigger budget.”

Therefore if you want to be promoted in tech, you’ll need to be a matriarchy-worshiping, virtue signaling money grubber.

So there you have it, that’s tech leadership for you. Now get back to deploying that shiny new feature, we’ll fix the bugs in post.

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More advice re: college, entrepreneurship, trades, etc.

The first thing to understand is that social media influencers are lying to you about everything. No one makes $100/hr in the trades. Flipping houses is retarded. Stonks are a 2021 meme. You can’t compete with BlackRock in rental properties. There’s an absolute glut of engineering school graduates who can’t find work. Homesteading is for showing off to the other girls how much your rich husband wastes on your stupid hobby farm. Entrepreneurship is a bad joke. The point of investing is A) to protect wealth you got somewhere else, and B) to legalize stealing from gentiles. The way to get rich, as a normal person, is to go to college, become a dentist, and work a 9-to-5 for 40 years.

My advice on kids and college would be online college paid for by Starbucks or similar arrangement, after about four years of living at home making peanuts* after high school. “BUT BUT BUT AP, THE INTERNET SAID COLLEGE IS FOOLISH!” Literally everyone is lying to you, and especially the internet is lying to you. The limitations of not having a degree are debilitating for young people, and everything is already against them. I’m not saying college isn’t a scam or that IRL normies aren’t lying to you, I’m saying the internet is ALSO lying to you.

The credentialism trap is even running away in the trades these days, although having a degree and trade skills and experience is a pretty reliable ticket to a decent mid-level management job. But the best plumber in the world is going to cap out at $35/hr and destroy his knees by age 35. You gotta have a degree before that to get into the management or sales side, it’s impossible to get past HR otherwise when there are a million college grads knocking down the door for the same jobs. “BUT AP MUH SMALL BUSINESS” Fuck your small business and fuck you. It’s 2023, there are no small businesses.

All this said, sending your kids directly to college from homeschooling (which is a good idea) or high school is a bad idea because there’s no reason to take it seriously. It’s just a firehose of useless information without context. The kid needs to have a clear idea of what value they’re trying to extract, or else all the extraction will go from the child to the system. They can miss most of the woke shit by simply not engaging in the “college experience” at all (AKA drugs and sodomy, and I don’t mean theoretical classroom sodomy, a >50% majority of girls who graduate college have done anal). But they have to not be on campus and avoid other 20-year-olds like the Xanax-popping, STD-ridden plague rats they are. There’s no getting around the bullshit they force-feed kids in the gen eds, but 2-year tech colleges teach this stuff…less credibly, for lack of a better expression.

Plus they don’t have weeder classes, so it’s a better place to learn math and science properly. My experience with universities at different levels of prestige is the more prestigious a place is, the worse the calculus instruction is.

Some people can get through life on pure charisma and a high school diploma, but before taking the route of floating from job to job on pure likeability you should make sure you’re in the 90th percentile or better for sales talent. Anecdotally, I’ve noticed guys like this fall more into the “lover” archetype, especially the part about being emotionally disordered early in life. You probably know a guy like this, the Homer Simpson type who just wanders into purchasing and learns Excel on the job. Deep down they know they’re confidence professionals. I’m not criticizing, these guys are the mortar filling in the gaps of society, but it’s definitely a social niche and not a career path. Some of the more “country” influencers will make out like anybody can do this, because all influencers are giant fucking liars. If they told the truth no one would listen to them.

Same thing goes for entrepreneurship, small business is dead. The only real business now is in chasing government subsidies, and only big businesses have the resources to do that full-time. Who knows whether solar panels will be subsidized next quarter? What about roof repairs after hailstorms? Only a specialist who follows that full-time. Everybody else is gambling with their business models, and they’ll eventually hit a dry patch long enough that it’ll close them down. So I’ll reiterate, the only business is in catering to government subsidies. Traditional forms of entrepreneurship, especially the types that social media influencers try to sell you on, should be approached as post-secondary education line items on your resume. They’re very useful as long as you aren’t treating them as a plan for making an income.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Here are the two links from above, those are good posts:

https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2022/07/24/piecemeal-feudalism-and-its-consequences/

https://aeolipera.wordpress.com/2022/02/23/career-advice-slash-rant-for-young-people-interested-in-trades/


*If you have a kid working at McDonald’s you’re going to spend more on gas driving them to and from work than they’re going to bring in. Tough titties, this is a phase of parenting now. Plan on it or get surprised by it, either way it’s going to happen.

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Faith and works

Pay attention, monke. There will be no Q&A following this presentation.

Now that I’ve cleared that up I trust the church will never be divided again and we can all get on with our lives.

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I am begum my father

I could have told you that.

Edit: Dad-as-ubermensch is a meme with legs. Just for starters, he’s a bridge to something greater.

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Some speculations on training general stress-handling capacity

Back in March I did my first ever one-rep max with 420 pounds on the trap bar deadlift, and I was shocked to learn how much it took out of me. Initially I felt great because the weight felt like it moved easily and smoothly, and I wasn’t gassed at all when I put it down. I was mostly just excited. So I tried doing it again…nope. So I tried dropping 30 pounds and doing that instead, and got one and a half reps with really bad form and some warning lights going off in my head. About this time I was starting to drag ass and getting a little lightheaded, and I realized my workout was basically over.

What I learned that day, and what you probably know already, is that the stress of an intense training stimulus feels very different from the stress of a training stimulus that exhausts one or more of the energy pathways of your muscles. The training stress of a one-rep max is almost entirely on the central nervous system.

Lately I learned the term “allostatic stress” as a technical term for general life stress. So I got the idea of trying to estimate how much general stress I’m under each day for the purpose of planning the week out, based on the types of activities I’m doing. Some things like a 1RM workout or doing a difficult mental task like those dual n-back games are intense stressors but you can still be productive the rest of the day as long as the tasks are pretty easy, mostly of the type you can do on autopilot. So these tasks would be the equivalent of zone 2 cardio.

I’ve been analogizing different workout types to different kinds of life tasks in my head, trying to think of what’s the equivalent of what. Here are some starters:

Zone 0/1: Actual rest like entertainment or aimless browsing on the internet.
Zone 2 intensity: Autopilot tasks, can be done while listening to podcasts or audiobooks.
Zone 3 intensity: Tasks that can be performed while listening to fun music. I think this is that zone where you feel excited because you’re going places, seeing people, researching new things, crossing things off lists…that zone where you FEEL productive.
Zone 4 intensity: Tasks that require dedicated deep work sessions. Lately that means going to a coffee shop, making sure I haven’t eaten for at least an hour beforehand, turning on a particular Chopin playlist, and doing a little 5-minute warmup intellectual activity. (I treat preparation for deep work like intense workouts.)

Now, I think a person can get generally better at recovering from these intense activities with practice, and more importantly these intense sessions can raise the absolute activity of our autopilot-level tasks. For example, an elite marathon runner’s zone 2 may still be under a 7-minute mile, and an extremely conscientious Asian math PhD may be able to focus for 10 hours in a row with an intensity level that I can only manage for 20 minutes.

But as a rule I’d guess a person should restrict themselves to, at most, one deep work task and one intense workout in the same day. And that’s only because there’s an extent to which they’re tapping into different energy systems. But there’s also an extent to which I think they’re tapping into the same general energy system too. That was one of the things Owl and I discussed when we were brainstorming Operation Headache. The main distinction is that we’re only good for about 20 total minutes of truly intense exercise in a day, whereas anecdotally it seems we can do about 2 hours of really hard thinking (from browsing forums advising people on how to get good at math competition problems and other types of thinking where they talk about eating and sleeping properly to practice at your best).

I suspect emotional stressors may be another axis, like mental and physical, but I don’t have as much experience trying to balance that with the other types. I’d guess an EMT or neonatal nurse who’s also a powerlifter or math olympiad contestant could chime in on whether extraordinarily stressful shifts cut into their gainz. My guess is it’s not a good idea to max out on more than two axes in the same day. Are there chakras other than head, heart, and dick? Maybe. But I feel these are pretty good for estimating how much general stress you’re taking on and how much you’re expecting based on your calendar and training plan.

There’s also the issue of trying to properly recover from an intense workout. Maybe you don’t want to be running at 100% every day…in fact we know for a fact that’s a bad idea, every high-end athlete knows you want to stick to leisure outside of your sport as much as possible.

A close inspection of the lifestyles of these runners shows us what really works to promote recovery from training, and it isn’t technological wizardry. The best words to describe their overall way of living are simple and slow. When they’re not running, they are generally relaxing. They get plenty of sleep, eat natural foods, and are largely unburdened by modern stressors—such as rush hour, media overload, and consumerism—affecting many denizens of wealthier societies. A case in point is the daily routine of Joshua Cheptegei, who as of this writing holds the men’s world records for 5000 and 10,000 meters and who lives and trains with several of his fellow Ugandan elite runners in the sleepy little mountain town of Kapchorwa, close to the Kenyan border:

6:00 a.m.—Run
7:15 a.m.—Breakfast
8:30 a.m.—Rest/nap
10:30 a.m.—Leisure (e.g., board games)
1:00 p.m.—Lunch
2:00 p.m.—Chores/errands
4:30 p.m.—Run
5:00 p.m.—Snack
5:30 p.m.—Rest
8:00 p.m.—Dinner
9:00 p.m.—Bed

As you can see, aside from the runs and the chores, every item on this agenda is restorative in one way or another. It’s not just elite African runners who tend not to go in for fancy recovery methods, though. In my experience, pro runners in North America and Europe are—contrary to what you might expect—less prone to make use of electrostimulation machines and the like than are hard-core amateur runners. There’s even some evidence that, within the elite ranks, the highest-performing athletes are not as reliant on hifalutin recovery methods as their less successful peers. In her 2019 book Good to Go, a comprehensive survey of current athletic recovery methods, science writer Christie Aschwanden reported that, prior to the 2008 Olympics, performance technologist Bill Sands tracked usage of a recovery center at the US Olympic training center. He found that those who spent the most time there were least likely to win a medal in Beijing. To be sure, many pro runners do use fancy recovery methods, but a growing number of experts believe that they function mainly as placebos.

This doesn’t mean that such methods are completely without value, but it does mean they are not where the focus of your efforts to promote recovery should be. Instead, your focus should be on the basics of rest, sleep, nutrition, and stress management, just as it is for most professional runners, and for the runners of East Africa especially.

Run Like a Pro (Even if You’re Slow) by Matt Fitzgerald and Ben Rosario

So even if our plan is to train the body to handle more intense stressors, we need to treat it like triathlon training by spacing out the particularly acute training load (e.g. don’t swim sprints at 100% in the morning and then bike sprints at 100% in the evening), not do two of the same type of session in the same day (e.g. don’t do a morning run and an evening run when you can throw in a bike session), plan for easy recovery time after difficult sessions, plan for lots of rest and relaxation in general and include rest days and step cycles to adapt to chronic training load.

Because the internet is now useless, all you can find on “allostatic stress” is recommendations to lower your stress, which isn’t helpful at all. People are meat machines that instinctively seek out the exact level of stress that matches the internal set point that makes them psychologically comfortable. But I bet with a little bit of conscious reflection and planning this capacity could be trained productively.

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