You have a big choice in front of you, that will determine the course of the rest of your life.
You’re like a battered wife who’s been saying for years the bruises are from falling down the stairs.
Abusers don’t pick their victims at random. They can smell codependency on you.
You’re a victim, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely innocent, any more than a girl who gets drunk at a party is completely innocent when she gets raped.
You should realize that, though you never intended to, you’ve been believing and repeating lies for years. Years.
It takes two to tango. You can’t con an honest person. They know that what seems too good to be true isn’t.
You’ve been passing out on fraternity couches and lying to yourself about what you are. For years. Think hard about that.
You’re not a good person. You’re not the honest and brave person you wanted to think you are. You’ve been victimized for years before realizing it.
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The rest will take care of itself over time.
That’s the big choice right now: Do you admit it to yourself? Or deny it? Ignore it? Put it off until you forget the pain you’re feeling right now?
You don’t get time to decide.
You have to decide now.
And please remember,
God still loves you.
Do the right thing.